


In The Confines Of Your Own Mind

by The_Firebird



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Caring Castiel, Comforting Gabriel, Crying Sam, Destiel Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Good Big Brother Dean, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Insecure Gabriel, Insecure Sam, Insomnia, Love Confessions, M/M, Nightmares, Protective Gabriel, Soul Bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-04
Updated: 2016-02-28
Packaged: 2018-05-11 17:04:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 22,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5634886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Firebird/pseuds/The_Firebird
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Sam awoke, he was sweaty, panting, and had just barely swallowed the bile rising in his throat before having to run to the disgusting motel bathroom. He looked to the other bed, Dean was still sleeping and wasn’t interrupted by the thrashing Sam had been doing in his sleep earlier. Sam envied how peacefully Dean slept. Oh, how he longed for the days of waking to a loud alarm clock, or Dean hitting him in the face with a pillow, or even to the stereo of the impala playing whatever Dean was feeling like playing at the highest volume. Now, Sam just wanted to sleep. Wanted to be able to roll over after a hunt, pass out, then wake up 5 to 7 hours later with no memory of any dream.</p>
<p>-or-</p>
<p>Sam gets nightmares of Lucifer every night (because he's a dick) and Gabe eventually comes in with a solution.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Nightmares

**Author's Note:**

> grimmenthusiasm is the beta reader for this chapter, readers that would like to beta read for future chapters, leave a comment and as long as I am still working on the story and its the latest chapter, I will most likely get back to you. I will try to update every two weeks but no promises because I need to get an education.

When Sam awoke, he was sweaty, panting, and had just barely swallowed the bile rising in his throat before having to run to the disgusting motel bathroom. He looked to the other bed, Dean was still sleeping and wasn’t interrupted by the thrashing Sam had been doing in his sleep earlier. Sam envied how peacefully Dean slept. Oh, how he longed for the days of waking to a loud alarm clock, or Dean hitting him in the face with a pillow, or even to the stereo of the impala playing whatever Dean was feeling like playing at the highest volume. Now, Sam just wanted to sleep. Wanted to be able to roll over after a hunt, pass out, then wake up 5 to 7 hours later with no memory of any dream. Instead Satan visits him every night and fills his mind with vivid images and scenes of horrible unspeakable things with no plans of stopping. Sam sighed and brought out his laptop. He opened the computer and squinted as the brightness of the screen temporarily blinded him. When he was able to open his eyes again he looked at the time and groaned when it read 5:30 a.m. and went on to research the disappearances of the town.

When Dean finally woke up around 7, Sam had just figured out what they were hunting. Another. Fucking. Trickster. The evidence was there, the candy wrappers, the victims being major dicks. But who could it be? It couldn’t be Gabriel, there was no way he could survived being stabbed in the heart with an actual archangel's blade by none other than Lucifer, whom until then Gabriel had believed could still be his protective big brother. So, no, not Gabriel. But there were no other tricksters that resided in America. And it wasn’t impossible for Gabriel to have been brought back, all three of them had been, Dean, Castiel, and Sam himself. When Sam relayed all this information to Dean, his brother looked at him in disbelief.

“Really, Sam? You think it’s Gabriel? Can’t be, the dick is dead, remember? Giant explosion, even Kali felt it. Even with all that archangel mojo the guy has, even an archangel can’t pull off that kind of stunt.” Dean finished, clearly not wanting to entertain even the concept of having to deal with the trickster again.

“Have you ever thought maybe God brought him back? He’s done it with Cas enough times that it's plausible. I’m not saying that I want to see him and be messed with again, but I’m saying it’s our best bet.” Sam responded, as kind as he could be while arguing with his brother, as to not spur his brother on.

“Gabriel is dead. And he’s not coming back. It would take a lot more juice to bring him back than Cas. There’s only one thing with enough power to bring back an archangel, and last I checked, God isn’t home right now. We have to check out a new crime scene, so get ready, but don’t get your hopes up, Gabriel isn’t showing.” As soon as he was done talking, he grabbed a pair of pants from the bed and made his way to the bathroom. Dean had suspicions of those two, Sam not going to the bar with Dean anymore, just them acting a bit easier around each other. Sure, Dean had loved the alone time with Cas, more so than he would ever admit. But that didn’t mean he approved of the archangel. Gabriel had done just a little too much to them, with killing Dean some hundred times. Then trying to get them to ‘play their parts’ in the apocalypse.

\----------------------------------------------------------  
[Gabriel’s POV]

Gabriel had been watching over the Winchesters for some time now. Well, watching over Sam, Dean had Castiel to protect his dreams. Gabriel couldn’t do that without revealing himself. He really doesn’t want to, but the Sasquatch had gone through enough nights without sufficient sleep, Dad only knows what would happen if Gabriel let it go any farther. But that will never become reality, they were going to check out this ‘hunt’ and Gabriel would be found out. And as long as he can give Sam a warded something, he could do what needed to be done to protect his favorite hunter.

He had been hiding himself from the Winchesters for a while. Of course Castiel knew he was alive, had felt a disturbance when he was brought back. The only reason the Winchesters didn’t know was because Gabriel had asked his younger brother not to tell them yet. That if things were disastrous he would show up to bail them out…… again.

But then again, that didn’t really count. Sure he had died, but he had put them there in the first place. But he had been brought back just over a month ago, had been waking Sam up before the nightmares broke the last wall separating him from insanity.

Gabriel was pretty sure Dean thought Sam and he were together before the pagan meet up, and how Gabriel had wished that, but no. Gabriel and Sam got to know each other, Sam first telling Gabriel that he forgave him and he understood why he had done what he did. But the archangel felt as though he didn’t deserve the forgiveness given to him by the youngest Winchester. Gabriel had done too much, so he tried to make up for it even after hearing Sam say what he said. While Dean went to the bar, Sam and Gabriel would stay back and watch everything nerd; from Star Trek to any documentary. Just because it was not something the hunter got to do in either his child or adult life. And that was just sad. So he made sure it was on, sometimes snapping in a better TV to watch in actual good quality.

But now Sam needed sleep, Gabriel was planning on giving Sam a bracelet or amulet with enough power to keep Sam safe from Luci, at least while Sam was trapped with the archangel, in his mind. Gabriel knew what his brother could whip up when he was upset, he wasn’t banished from heaven because he stole candy from a baby. No, Sam was going through something the human mind wasn’t capable of handling. Sam was holding onto the last fraying string. Soon the string would break. No way around it. Unless Gabriel was to do what he was about to do, reveal himself and protect Sam as best he could. By being annoying and not leaving them alone, keeping Sam safe was first priority right now, and Gabriel was not going to let himself fail at that. Sam was too important, much too important.


	2. Gabe?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> VIOLENCE IN THIS CHAPTER!!!! I've seen worse on this site but still. It's pretty early on in the chapter and little of it, so there's a little **~** to section it off

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is always welcome, including constructive criticism. Please do tell me if i can do something better and not just state that it sucks if you feel that way. If you do then I have no idea what I can work on.

[Sam’s POV]

Dean and Sam were finishing interviewing the witness when Sam noticed an unnatural amount of candy wrappers near the trash. He knew Dean had caught sight of it when his older brother cursed under his breath.

“Damn it, Sam. Why are you always right, would it kill you to be wrong?” Dean sighed, resigning himself to having to deal with the archangel-turned-trickster-god yet again.

“Dean, he did die for us. We should at least give him the time of day. Remember, we can always call Cas for any help.” Sam tried to reason with his brother. He wanted to see Gabriel alive and healthy…. or as healthy as Gabriel usually was. They had begun to be such good friends, then Gabriel went and sacrificed himself for them.

“We can tomorrow, I need a drink tonight and I’m not letting you confront him alone.” Sam found Dean saying. He hadn’t thought Dean would agree so easily, so he didn’t argue. He just sighed and followed Dean to the impala, content to leave the conversation where it was.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[That night- Sam’s dream]

  **~**

“Come back to see me huh, Sam? You just won’t let me go.” Lucifer said from where he was standing over Sam, who was tied down to a table while the archangel looked over various knives on another table.

Sam didn’t respond. Knowing that what Lucifer wanted was for him to get riled up, only to be tortured more and more while confined in his dream until Lucifer decided to let him wake up. The archangel picked that moment to start carving him up like a turkey on a normal family’s Thanksgiving. With a double-edged blade, Lucifer impales Sam’s sternum, tracing his ribs into his skin. After a few more sickeningly art-like stabs and gashes, Lucifer puts the knife down, if only to pick up the iron poker that has been sitting in the nearby flame. The torturer starts to burn Sam’s skin, smiling at the scream that is ripped from the human’s throat.

**~**

Sam felt himself being pulled from the horrific nightmare. This time having to run into the bathroom to throw up whatever he had eaten the day before. He felt like absolute shit. Walking back into the room, he noticed a person sitting on his bed, more specifically, Gabriel sitting on his bed. Relief flooded his veins at the sight of the angel, but still went over to their supplies and grabbed a flask of holy water and a silver knife. After splashing the holy water on Gabriel and making a small cut on his arm with the silver knife, he watched as a sliver of golden light of grace wound around the cut, sealing the flesh together within seconds. Sam knew that an angel's grace could not be faked, that no illusion or monster could have made grace so alike to Gabriel’s.

Sam looked over to Dean on the other bed, “Can you take me somewhere else, please?” Sam asked a little brokenly, not having had the time to compose himself after his nightmare.

Gabriel only nods, not even snapping his fingers before the scenery changed to a house in a pocket dimension he used while in hiding. He had taken Sam here often before his death. Here, time worked differently, he could have Sam back within 5 minutes or 24 hours from when they left, pretty much whenever Sam wanted to be back. Usually they would come and watch a movie, maybe even have contests to see who could find the funnier video on Youtube. But all that happened after Sam slept, because he had always needed it. He even had a room that was considered his by both the archangel and the hunter. Being in that room now, Sam sat on the bed next to Gabriel, leant his weight on the archangel, knowing it would be the equivalent to if a four year old were to lean on him, and proceeded to cry.

Gabriel just held him through it, not saying a word about the situation and letting Sam let go. Sam knew he didn’t have to look strong for Gabriel, the angel could always see through it anyway, so he continued to cry until he fell into a sleep he knew would be protected in their little space.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Gabriel’s POV]

It broke Gabriel’s heart to see Sam like this and know it was his brothers’ doing. When Sam finally fell into a peaceful sleep, Gabriel went on to prepare the amulet he was almost done making for Sam. It was infused with grace, set in a way that protected Sam from any psychological angelic involvement aside from Castiel and himself. Though it was only a temporary solution to the problem. He knew this and would make sure Sam knew this, would give him his options, and let it go from there.

Sam was asleep for 7 hours. Gabriel was right by his side when Sam woke up, looking at him with a half-hearted smirk. “Doing better kiddo?” Gabriel asked, not wanting to rush into anything and having Sam close him off.

“Yeah, thanks Gabe. I really needed that and you know how Dean is. But thank you, you can send me back now.” Sam looked down, a bit embarrassed from his behavior the night before, even though he knew he wouldn’t be judged.

“Actually I have something that will help,” He holds up the amulet, “It will only be a temporary solution, but it makes it so only Cassie and I can enter your dreams and will keep Lucifer out. There is a way to permanently keep Luci out, but I don’t think either of us are ready for that just yet.” Gabriel was treading lightly, not really wanting to bring it up but knowing Sam would be curious. Gabriel smiled a bit when Sam took the amulet from him and put it on after a few minutes of inspecting it.

“ Wha- Alright, first, thank you. This has been going on for far too long. Second, what other way? You said it would be permanent but I wouldn’t be ready for it. So two questions; How long does this amulet last and what other way is there?” Sam was confused, incredibly thankful, but suspicious about what Gabriel could be implying.

“Okay, first question, I would say between two weeks and 8 months, there really is no way to tell exactly when. Second question, oh how do I explain this?..... Okay, you know that “profound bond” that Cas and Dean have?” At Sam’s nod he continues, “Well it would sort of be like that. But where it was formed when Castiel’s grace touched Dean-o’s soul, one like I’m proposing would be deeper than that. It would… intermingle your soul and my grace. It would be like sharing. We would have an understanding of each other's emotions, know when the other was hurt, and your soul would come to me when you die. It would be forever, that’s why _neither_ of us are ready for it. Sam, there would have to be a relationship beforehand also, for at least 3 weeks.” When Gabriel finished, he was looking at the floor. When he looked at Sam again, the hunter was looking at him with a smile.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Sam’s POV]

Sam couldn’t believe what he had just heard, not just because he would be free of Lucifer, no. While that would be a dream come true, it wasn’t what he was most happy about. Gabriel just said that he could have a relationship with the archangel. Why Gabriel would want to, Sam did not know. Why would Gabriel ever want _him_ , with his tainted soul from all he had done. But still, being brave, Sam closed that space between them, kissing the man (archangel?) he had loved since the mystery spot, granted once had Sam figured out the big lesson. He had felt Gabriel freeze for a second before melting into it. It remained chaste, neither of them wanting to rush into things. When they broke apart Sam chuckled with a goofy smile on his face.

“So you said something about a relationship?” Sam asked breathlessly.


	3. Revelations

[Gabriel’s POV]

Gabriel’s mind is reeling, Sam just said that he would like to start a relationship. Sam Winchester just asked if he could be in a relationship with Gabriel. But it would only be to keep Lucifer out of his head, right? That had to be it, after all he had done to them. But he and Sam had gotten closer, surely he wouldn’t hold it against Gabriel for the things he had done. He thought Sam had seen his reason for what he did at mystery spot, although Gabriel had to agree that killing Dean nine dozen times may not have been the best method, but it was effective. By then his distress must have made a visual appearance, because Sam spoke up.

“Hey, Gabe what’s wrong? Did I say something? If you don’t want a relationship just tell me, I’ll be okay with it.” Sam hurried to say.

“No, it’s not that. Sam….. do you really want a relationship with me or are you just getting rid of Lucifer? Because it would be for life. And I would rather be mated to someone who actually loves me, instead of someone doing it to get something for themselves. I really would like to start a relationship with you, but if you don’t really want to then I won’t bond with you. I do love you Sam, but if this is just to get rid of Luci, I’m sorry but forget it.” Gabriel didn’t want Sam to think he would expect the hunter to do that, but wanted to make sure before a crush turned into the love of his life, just to back out at the last second.

“Gabriel,” Sam said, deadly calm and serious, “I’ve had a crush on you since I thought you were nothing more than a college janitor. Back then it was only a slight attraction, but it was there. After mystery spot I hated you for a bit before I realized your reason, I was still mad but then we started hanging out. The attraction that was already there bloomed into a crush by the time you first brought me here.” Sam gestured around the house. “When you died it was like when the hellhounds came for Dean, something so close ripped from my grasp by them trying to save me.” Sam gulped as he relived the memories of going back into the hotel to find nothing but Gabriel’s dead body and the outline of his wings, but hurried to continue. “That was the first time I ever gave this crush anything more than an acknowledgement. So I can promise you, Gabriel, Archangel of Monday, Messenger Angel of the Lord, Loki, I love you. Lucifer staying away is just a bonus. Like an ‘I got the man of my dreams plus Lucifer can’t turn me into a walking mental institution?’ sort of thing.” He looked up to see Gabriel smiling, then sighed and continued. “The only thing I’m not sure about is why you are even offering, isn’t my soul too tainted to even be worthy of an angel? Much less you.” Sam finished off once again looking at the ground, at least until a hand grabbed his jaw and forced him to look at the snarling archangel.

“Don’t you **ever** say anything like that again, Samuel Winchester.” Gabriel growled, eyes glowing gold with grace at his anger. “You have the single most brightest soul I have seen in my lifetime, with the exception of your brother. If you think demon blood that was forced on you as a baby, or possession by, let me remind you, an archangel is enough to taint your soul, then you are sorely mistaken. The demon blood does nothing but simply cause a slight shadow in the bottom right hand corner of a soul that could easily burn out the sun. And you letting Luci take over your body? You jumped into the fucking cage to save the whole planet. Your heart was in the right place the entire time you were with Ruby, while that bitch was spoon feeding you lies. Yes you believed her, but anyone would’ve!! Bottom line, your soul is bright. So bright you have me questioning why you would want me. I’ve done a lot less honorable things.” By the time Gabriel finished ranting, his eyes dimmed, he really didn’t want to blind Sam right now. And that was the point that Sam decided to pull him into a searing kiss. One that left them both breathless but still not going further.

“So, now that those revelations are out there, relationship?” Sam asked, albeit shyly, he wanted to take things slow and not mess this up.

“I would love to start a relationship with you Sammykins.” They kissed one more time before pulling away. “Now that you’ve been here for about 8 hours… how about breakfast and I drop you off right before Dean-o gets up?” Gabriel asked while getting off the bed and heading out the door.

“Sounds perfect Gabe, waffles, but I’m just gonna take a shower first.” Sam replied as he stepped into the bathroom.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Sam’s POV]

When they were sitting at the kitchen table with their waffles, Sam’s with just butter and syrup and Gabriel’s with what looked like a human could get diabetes from, Sam decided to ask the question that had been on his mind since he had seen those candy wrappers at the crime scene. “So…...when did you get back?”

“Dad brought me back just in time to see you get your soul back. I would have shown up right then and there, try to make it less painful, but I couldn’t. With Dean-o and Bobby right there, I knew they would try to kill me without a second glance, no matter how close you and I had gotten. Plus I wanted to try out the whole ‘gaurdian angel’ gig, thought it might be fun with how much Cassie seems to enjoy watching Dean.”

“Don’t you mean watching over Dean?” Sam asked, a little creeped out by the answer he got.

“Nope, that boy was like a lovesick puppy before I gave him the final push. I had to literally push him into Dean in order for him to get it.” Gabriel answered, smirking as he got up to wash their dishes. Sam liked it when he did that instead of just poofing it away. At least it gave him some sense of normalcy.

After breakfast, Gabriel and Sam shared one more quick kiss before the archangel took Sam back to the motel they were staying at. Right around 7:30, Sam rushed over to the bathroom, turned on the water, then undressed and wrapped a towel around himself. When the water started to steam, he stepped out to find Dean just waking up.

“You already got a shower? Dammit, now all the hot water will be gone.” Dean complained as he started to get up to have his shower. “Actually, I just took a quick one, there should be hot water left. If not, then you should have gotten up earlier.” Sam replied, wondering how he was going to tell Dean about what had transpired while he was sleeping.

“Bitch.” Dean mumbled.

“Jerk.” Sam shot back automatically.

When Dean walked back out of the shower, Sam was already redressed and was looking like he was constipated.

“Okay, what’s up? You have your ‘I can’t decide on this’ face.” Dean asked suspiciously.

“Okay, so, maybe Gabe dropped in earlier.”

“WHAT?!?”

“He didn’t actually do anything, just popped in after I woke up from a nightmare, let me sleep with my dreams protected for a few hours, gave me an amulet to protect my dreams when he’s not here and then I took a shower.” Sam answered cryptically, not wanting to disclose all the information just yet.

“He took you to his weird pocket dimension again didn’t he?” Sam nods.

“Well that explains why you look well rested for the first time in weeks. Is he going to hurt anyone else?”

“I don’t think so, he was just getting our attention while also exercising the whole trickster gig.”

“Okay then, what do you want for breakfast? I’m going out.”

“Actually I already ate while I was over there.”

“Ok, I’m going to a Denny’s. See if you can find another case. Meet back in an hour?”

“Sounds like a plan.” Sam says while getting out his laptop.

“Oh, and by the way, you’re telling me what else happened when I get back. I can tell when you’re hiding things from me Sammy.” Dean smirked at Sam’s surprised expression as he was walking out the door.


	4. When The Shoe Drops

[Sam’s POV]

When Dean left, Sam was gaping like a goldfish. Continuing to open and close his mouth long after his brother had left. After he got over the initial shock, Sam looked at the time and found he had lost ten complete minutes to his fish impersonation. While he would’ve rather had more time to think about it on his own, he had to figure out a way to tell Dean about what they had talked about whilst at Gabriel’s. He decided to just lay it down. Whatever happens when Dean gets back happens. No avoiding it. 

________________________________________

When his brother got back, Sam already had a game plan.

“So spit it out, what are you not wanting to tell me and is it dangerous?” Dean asked with a huff, like he expected another Ruby fiasco. 

Sam, of course, couldn’t go with said game plan. “First, I should explain the amulet. It’ll help me with my nightmares, but it’s only a temporary fix. There’s really no way to tell how long it will work, Gabe said anywhere from two weeks to eight months.” Sam answered carefully.

“Well, is there a permanent way? Because I really don’t like seeing you like you’ve been looking.” Dean interrupted.

“Thanks,” Sam said sarcastically. “and yes. Well….. it would be to, um, kind of…. bond, with Gabriel.”

“Okay, what the hell is that? What did you get yourself into Sam?” Dean asked, and you could see it in his eyes that he was thinking about what happened with Ruby again. Probably getting ready to drive to Bobby’s to lock him in the panic room once more.

“Dean, I’m not getting into anything dangerous, I’m not on demon blood. I’m just dating Gabriel.” Sam answered. Making sure to imply that he would never go down that road again.

“What?? You never told me you were into guys, and I’m fine with that, but Gabriel? You couldn’t find a species that screwed us over more?” Dean opened his mouth to say more before he was interrupted by Sam. Who looked about ready to punch Dean for saying that.

“I’m going to stop you right there. First, you can’t compare him to Michael and Lucifer. Second, he may have messed with us, and we know that he wasn’t always 100 percent on our side, but he came through in the end. And all the angels and demons in all of heaven and hell believed that once you and me were born and old enough, Michael and Lucifer would take over our bodies and fight to the death. Imagine if there was an actual fight between Adam and I and you had to watch that, your own brothers killing each other. Or at least thought you would have to for 3 millennia. You wouldn’t be able to do anything to stop it, so what do you do? Get it over with. If it has to happen then get it done quick. And at mystery spot, I know what he was trying to do, and while I wish he did it in a different manner, it had the desired effect. And then we got close, I’ll tell you what I told him; when he died it was like when the hellhounds came for you. And when I saw him last night on my bed, relief flooded my veins, just like it did when you and Bobby came to my door and he said you were completely human. So, yes he did some unruly things, but I’ve already forgiven him. Plus I’m getting rid of Lucifer for good. He told me he’d drop by every night to make sure my dreams are what he’d expect them to be, a.k.a no Lucifer. And I’m going through with this, ask Cas, there is nothing dangerous about it. Not when it’s Gabriel.” Sam looked like he was going to storm out if Dean even looked at him wrong.

“Okay okay, I get it, you’re protective and protected. But just what does this entail for you?” Dean asked like he was walking on a bridge of glass and one wrong step would send him plummeting towards the rocky abyss that was the grand canyon. 

Sam sighed, “He told me that my soul and his grace would….connect. Combine, fuse, blend, take your pick. But it would...bind pretty much. There would be a mutual understanding of each other’s emotions, we would know when the other was hurt, and my soul would go to him when I die. I think there are some things Gabe forgot to mention, not much though. I wouldn’t be bound to go to hell. I could stay with Gabriel forever. Dean, I love him, this is bigger than Ruby, maybe as big as Jess.” Dean’s eyes widened at that. “Yeah, that big. Dean I’m safe with him, and there is no way for him to die, not anymore. Unless the big guy decides to come down and smite him. Seriously ask Cas, you will learn more from him. Trust me Dean.”

“I do. But I don’t trust him. And I’m still your big brother alright? And since dad’s not around, I’m giving him the ‘mess up and die’ speech.” 

“I would expect that from you about Gabe.” Sam smiled, it seemed like he wouldn’t be getting a punch in the face today….at least not from Dean. “And anyway, now that that’s out of the way, I think I found some ghost activity….”

________________________________________

When they finally found a motel that had a room, Sam and Dean were exhausted. The ghost they had been trying to get research on had decided to show her face. She had done a good deal on them and the house they were in. When they managed to escape, all of the local libraries had closed hours ago. So they decided to go and find a room to stay in, but in every motel they had visited all the rooms were booked. It took them an hour just to find one that was free. Sam decided to stay up for another hour and research. He had just found out the name of the girl, Rebecca Davis, thirty minutes into researching. With Dean already asleep and Sam on this fourth website trying to get more information, Gabriel dropped in.

“Sammy? What are you doing up? I came in to check and make sure you were asleep, it’s past midnight, and it’s a little hard to look into your dreams when you are fully awake.” Gabriel said, confused at first then concerned.

“I was just researching this ghost we found. Gave us a hell of a bruising. And I’m always awake at this time, Dean gave up on trying to get me to sleep, plus I like to stay away from Lucifer as long as I can.” Sam responded, looking up at the archangel for the first time. Seeing Gabriel with a concerned expression was definitely surprising, usually having his trademark smirk.

“Sam, you don’t have to stay awake to avoid Lucifer anymore, remember? And you were getting less than five hours for weeks? What were you running on, moose juice?” Gabriel healed Sam’s injuries, closed the laptop, took it from Sam’s lap, and set it on the nightstand next to him. He then made the bed a much more comfortable and clean one, Gabriel smiled warmly at Sam when he looked up confused. “Perks of dating an archangel. Now scoot.”

“Gabriel what are you doing?” Sam asked as he moved over to make room. “Hey, wha-”

“Sam, you are going to sleep and getting 8 hours. If anything comes in I’ll be here. And I will make sure Dean doesn’t wake you up either. Now, go to sleep Sammykins. I’ll be here when you wake up.” Gabriel said before holding Sam close and brushing his fingers through his hair.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
[Gabriel’s POV]

Gabriel’s grace was practically jumping for joy with Sam safe in his arms. He felt a surge of happiness when Sam’s entire body went limp and his breathing became more even. Subconsciously, Sam moved closer and hugged Gabriel to his body. Damn, this kid was like an octo-moose, but boy did he love it. When Gabriel did look into Sam’s dreams, he was happy to find that Sam was dreaming peacefully of New Rome, switching between the daily life of artisans, to the building of the Colosseum, to wars fought against the greeks. Wow, Sam was a giant nerd, and he probably read this in a book and remembered all the details, like a sponge. Sam was a nerd-sponge. An octo-moose-nerd-sponge.

When Dean woke up around seven and saw Sam sleeping, he made a move to wake him up by chucking a pillow right at Sam’s face, only to have it fall onto the ground before hitting the intended target. Gabriel sat up more to show himself and took Dean’s voice away right before Dean could start yelling.

“Dean, don’t wake up Sam, I’m going to give you your voice back but you have to talk in either a whisper or just quietly. Alright?” He waited for Dean’s nod before giving him back his voice.

“What the hell are you doing here? I thought you just wanted to check on Sam at night and get on your merry way.” Dean spoke in a hushed tone, keeping his promise.

“Sam was having trouble getting to sleep, plus it’s the first night, I wanted to make sure everything would work. Now I promised him eight full hours of peaceful rest. That is what he deserves, and that is what he is going to get. Have all the grudges you want against me, but I know you love your brother. So at least let him sleep after the weeks he’s been having.” Gabriel answered, voice also low.

“Fine. I’ll wait until his eight hours are up and then I’ll threaten you"

“Works for me.”

The older Winchester sighed “Do you know if he made any progress with research?” Dean asked, starting to brush his teeth.

“Um, yeah. He said the name was Rebecca Davis. That’s it. I took his computer from him when I made him lay down before he could do anything more. That kid was more tired than even he thought.” Gabriel smiled as he remembered his octo-moose pulling him close. Sam started to stir, but the archangel used the technique he had used the night before and carded his fingers through his hunter’s hair. Gabriel couldn’t believe that he held the right to call this hunter/moose his. Of all people, Sam had chosen him. Gabriel felt like he was the luckiest being on earth. Hell, he was the luckiest being on earth.

“Dude, please stop being all cutesy when I’m in the room.”

Gabriel nailed him with a glare. “Dean, I love your brother. If he wants to be all cutesy, then I’m all for it. And if being here helps him sleep, I’m more than happy to oblige. If you are going to make a fuss and complain, I’d prefer if you do it with me. He feels bad enough from what’s happened so far in this shit storm. I have no tricks up my sleeve with this one, the only thing I get out of this is a hunk of moose. So again, I’d appreciate you being happy for him instead of waiting for him to mess up.” Gabriel said, completely serious. To the archangel, Sam was the best he could ask for, and Gabriel would do whatever he deemed necessary to keep Sam safe, happy and healthy.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
[Dean’s POV]

Dean was completely shocked at the sudden admission of devotion. Dean deemed Gabriel trustworthy enough to trust with a sleeping Sam as he went out to grab some grub. The only reason he would ever trust Gabriel was because he had been decent to them after the whole TV land thin and because he and Sam were such good friends. If Gabriel trusted Sam enough to bring him to his house on regular occasion, Dean could trust Gabriel to not lie about this. The older Winchester had never been there himself, apparently not trusted enough not to sell out Gabriel, ough he couldn’t argue the logic. 

“Alright, so I’m going to get some breakfast, he should be awake by the time I get back, so I’ll bring a salad or something.” With that,Dean grabbed his jacket, the keys to the impala, and left as quietly as possible.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
[Sam’s POV]

Sam woke up feeling warm and secure. He noticed a sweet aroma surrounding him. He nuzzled down into warmth, wearily opening his eyes to find Gabriel’s honey gaze looking down at him with love and trust. Sam blushed, a bit embarrassed at his earlier actions. At least he found out what the smell was, Gabriel always tended to be sweet in every sense of the word. Sam thought it had something to do with all of the candy he ate. 

“Hey there, Sleeping Beauty. Sleep well? Dean-o went to get something to eat, said he would bring you back some salad.” Gabriel said in a soft voice.

“Mmm,” Sam hugged the archangel closer. “Don’t wanna get up. You’re warm. And you smell like a candy shop. Were you here all night?”

“Yeah, don’t worry about it princess. You do a pretty good impression of an octopus, Sam-a-lam.” Gabriel said with a smile.

“‘M not a princess.”

“I’m not so sure with that long hair, princess. Now get up before Dean-o gets back.” Gabriel started pulling Sam off the bed and pushing him towards the bathroom. “Brush your teeth, I don’t want to kiss any stink breath.”

Sam chuckled and started brushing his teeth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the record, I did not know that there was actually a well-known person with the name Rebecca Davis. I just looked up the name this morning and realized this was an actual person.


	5. I Don't Know What To Call This Chapter

[Gabriel’s POV]

The next 1 1/2 weeks went well, considering the Winchester’s luck. Gabriel and Castiel could finally hang out in front of the boys. It was until they found a djinn to hunt that they became worried, considering what had happened last time. With a warning from both angels as they went to take care of business in heaven, and a kiss from Gabriel to Sam, they went on their way. It wasn’t until he was just finishing up his work that Gabriel heard a panicked prayer from Dean.

_‘Gabriel, hey. This is important. It’s Sam. I went into through the back while Sam went through the front and I can’t find him or the_ _djinn_. _I need your help man, so get your smug ass down here and help out.’_

Gabriel was flying down before Dean even got to the part about the djinn. He searched the entire house by the time Dean finished. Then went to his pocket dimension house to scream and panic before he appeared with a expression he only got when something hurt Sam or Cas. So serious that he looked about to smite you if you bumped into him on the street.

“Where and when did you last see him?”

“About half an hour ago while I was going into the back. But his phone was left here. Gabriel, you know I wouldn’t have called you if this wasn’t bad. I don’t really know much about djinns, but I know that it’s a shitty situation to be in.”

“Dean, don’t panic. If anybody has enough training with finding your kidnapped brother, it’s you. C’mon, the little shithead is bound to have multiple victims in the same spot. Let’s look at abandoned warehouses.” He grabbed Dean’s arm and flew them back to the motel room they were staying at, where the Winchester immediately looked out the window and breathed a breath of relief when he saw the impala.

They researched for an hour, finally lining up where the warehouses were and which ones were abandoned. Ready to leave to check them out, Gabriel saw Dean reach for his keys, until he swatted the Winchester’s away and flew them to the first location.

“What the hell?”

“We don’t have time for your slow transportation, Sam is missing and dying. If we want to find him alive then we have to move fast. Besides, this one is a bust.”

It continued on like that for the next five warehouses; flying in, thoroughly searching, then leaving. Until they came to the last one in town and Dean was about to give up hope. They appeared in front of the warehouse this time. Gabriel telling Dean which protection symbols to break so he could enter. When they got in, Gabriel stormed in with his eyes glowing, angry enough to smite an entire Roman legion.

"Dean, wake Sam up and get him out of those binds.”

While Dean scrambled to do just that, Gabriel went on to find the djinn and give it a slow and painful death. Gabriel made the last cut and went on to find Dean and Sam and get them out of here. Only to find Dean crouched over a free but unconscious Sam.

“I told you to wake him up.”

“I’m trying, but they’ve got him good. Damn jinn must be powerful. He’s not waking up to anything.”

“We are going back to the room, then I’ll get him up.”

As he said this, the area surrounding them dissolved into their motel room with Sam on the bed. Dean went outside, muttering something about food and Sam being hungry when he gets up. Gabriel lowered himself onto the bed, touched Sam’s forehead, and entered his dream.

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

 [Sam’s POV]

Sam had been sneaking through the front when he saw it. The djinn was just standing there, like he was waiting for Dean to come through the back door. Seeing this as a chance to get the upper hand, he had gone after it. Just before he reached the djinn, the monster starts glowing blue and touches his forehead.

(Sam’s Dream)

Sam woke up, startled. All he remembered before going to sleep was that he and Dean went on a hunt to gank a jinn. That’s what was weird, nothing else. But now here he was, waking up in a house with no recollection of how he got there. Gabriel was right next to him. He was sleeping, although that wasn’t uncommon, he often slept to pass the time while Sam was being an octopus at night. And he stirred awake.

“Babe, get back to sleep. It’s only three in the morning and you have a big case to work on.”

“Gabe, what happened last night?”

“Well, we went to that new bar, which was obviously a mistake, and then when you passed out on me I took you home to get some proper rest. Why?”

“No reason, I just had a really weird dream. You and Dean were there and we hunted monsters. Just some really freaky shit.”

“Well, come back to bed and we can talk about it in the morning, you have a big case to go through in the morning. Come on, my big lawyer.”

Sam furrowed his eyebrows but snuggled up to Gabriel anyway. He knew something was very wrong when the invisible weight of Gabriel’s wings never settled around his back and shoulders.

**_________________________________________________**

When morning came, “Gabriel” woke him up with breakfast in bed and a small kiss on his nose. Sam very suddenly got a massive headache. It sounded like someone was screaming at him to wake up. It was muffled to the point where he couldn’t figure out who it was that was calling for him. The more he concentrated, the clearer it became, he almost had it when-

“Babe, what’s wrong? You look like you do when Dean uses your laptop for those stupid japanese porn cartoons. I think he called it hentai? I don’t know why he watches that when he’s got Castiel, but, you know, different people different things.”

“Wait, Dean and Cas are together?”

“Uhhh, yeah. Are you sure you’re feeling okay, maybe you should take the day off. Because they’ve been married since, like, the day it went legal in Kansas.”

“Yeah, Gabriel, I just have a headache. Nothing to worry about.”

“Wait, Gabriel? You never call me that unless you’re mad. And even then not very often. Usually it’s just Gabe or Angel. What did I do?”

“Nothing. Just forgot about that for a second. I love you, Angel.”

“That’s good to know, thought you wanted a to break up for minute. While you eat your big moose breakfast, I’m going to take a shower.”

With “Gabriel” gone, Sam paid attention to the voice that was now begging him to wake up. Focussing on it, he could hear it better. It sounded like.. like Dean. But how? Dean was apparently in Kansas. He couldn’t be hearing him. Where was he anyway? Just then the headache came back a million times worse. Like someone was reaching in his brain trying to get through. It felt familiar, kind of like Gabriel’s grace. But…. but Gabriel was in the shower. No wait, he was appearing in front of him. How?

“Sam,” Gabriel’s voice came through. “Sam, honey, wake up. You got captured by the djinn. This isn’t real. Please, come back to me baby.”

What happened when he went into the house came rushing back to him; the man, no, not the man, it was a djinn, catching him before glowing blue and him waking up here. A jinn had caught him and put him into this sleep. And he needed to wake up now. The hunter grabbed onto Gabriel’s arms and held onto that connection. Just then the entire world went black. He felt the change in atmosphere, felt the invisible weight of Gabriel’s wings wrapped around him. Sam opened his eyes to his boyfriend’s face looking down at him, upside down. Oh, his head was in Gabriel’s lap, this was a nice change.

“Welcome back beautiful.” The archangel said, then chuckling as Sam blushed.


	6. Relaxing Times

[Gabriel’s POV]

 

Trying to sift through his boyfriend’s mind was like trying to find out which shit was your dogs’ at a dog park; there’s so much there that you have to examine each piece until you find it. Even in this dream-state Sam’s brain was going a mile a minute. When he eventually did he did not see what he thought he would; expecting to find his Sammy with Jess living happily ever after. But he was shocked when the lump on the bed spoke in a male's’ voice and turned to reveal him. Gabriel caught the furrowed eyebrow when they went to sleep, Dream-Gabriel holding Sam like he always did. They woke up not five minutes later, although light was showing through the gold curtains and the clock read 8 a.m. now instead of 3. He was happy that in Sam’s dreamland their brothers were happy too. Everybody except for them knew they were in love. When his doppleganger went to take a shower, he focused his grace into appearing before Sam.

 

“Sam. Sam, honey, wake up. You got captured by the djinn. This isn’t real. Please, come back to me baby.”

 

He watched the conflicting thoughts go through Sam’s mind, until Sam finally lunged at him and he pulled them both out and into the real world.

 

When Gabriel pulled out of Sam’s head he looked over at his soon-to-be mate, the Winchester having passed out from energy consumption, as was proven when Sam gave a small twitch where before he was unresponsive. He sat up until he was leaning on the headboard, then pulled his boyfriend’s head into his lap. He then ran his fingers through Sam’s hair, which always seemed to have a calming effect on his hunter.

 

When Sam started to stir, Gabriel looked at him with relief that his plan worked out perfectly, there was always the slight risk that Sam wouldn’t want to come back, but there was always that risk when hunting djinns. Sam wearily opened his eyes, and Gabriel thought it was the most adorable thing he had ever seen in all his thousands of years of living.

 

“Welcome back beautiful.” The blush that followed his statement on Sam’s sleepy face just blew away the record for most adorable seconds after the record had been set. Seeing that sleep-ridden face with the loveliest dusting of pink melted the archangels heart. If asked, he probably would’ve gone across the world just then (not that he couldn’t in the blink of an eye, but you know, it’s the thought that counts).

 

“So,  uuhh….. did you see all that?”

 

“Yes, and while it was not what I was expecting, I am glad it wasn’t kiddo. I would’ve never guessed I would be the one with you. And the whole married Dean-o and Cassie? I can just barely picture them being domestic.”

 

“I guess even I don’t know what I want until it’s waved in front of my face, huh?” Sam chuckled.

 

“By the way, before you went to ‘sleep’, you were troubled. What was upsetting you? It seemed pretty perfect.” Gabriel asked, confused as to why Sam could be upset in such a world.

 

“Oh, well, when I was in bed with dream you, I couldn’t feel you wings.” Gabriel was confused even more confused. He had never told Gabriel that he felt his wings, the archangel always wrapped them around Sam, of course, but he never thought Sam could feel them. “I usually feel them….sort of. it’s like when you need more than one blanket, the second one just provides weight and a sense of warmth and  protection. No real texture. That’s what your wings are like, a weight that gives off a sense of warmth and protection.”

 

That made sense, and Gabriel smiled. “Well, I’m glad you’re back babe, don’t know how I could’ve handled Dean without you.” Gabriel said with a wink, and the aforementioned hunter came in through the door with food just then. Surprising his brother when Dean pulled him into a hug, then let go without saying anything other than stammering on about getting him a salad.

 

“Thank you, Dean.”

 

“Why are you thanking me? He’s the one that got you out.”

 

“He’s getting his thank you later, but you got that stick out of your ass long enough to call for him, so thank you.”

 

Dean grimaced, “We don’t need an extra room do we?”

 

“Nah, completely PG.”

 

“Good, I do not need to know about my little brothers’ sex life.”

 

“Yeah, well, I wasn’t going to tell you.” Sam settles down and starts eating, “I’m guessing you guys got rid of it?”

 

Gabriel sits next to Sam, neither wanting to be apart after almost losing the other. “Let’s just say the djinn isn’t going to just walk it off.”

 

Sam smiles lovingly at Gabriel, looking alike to Adonis himself in the archangels book. Gabriel too was happy that Dean had finally quit his stubborn role and called him instead of trying to figure it out himself, who knows what could’ve happened if he hadn’t. Sam might not have survived, or been too out of it to think straight, but luckily he had only lost a pint or two of blood. The same, if not a little more, that they take from blood donors. 

 

**\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

[Sam’s POV]

 

Sam felt like you would after waking up from being drugged. His head was cloudy and he just felt like absolute shit. He was glad for the salad, having not eaten dinner and it being pretty decent. The food helped his blood start to flow again, producing more to compensate for the sudden loss.

 

Sam snuggled further into Gabriel’s embrace when he was done eating, knowing that the archangel wouldn’t let him out of his sight for at least the next 24 hours. Castiel had apparently heard about their panic, because he came down and made sure Sam was alright, then proceeded to eye-fuck Dean with every passing glance. Seriously, they needed to get their shit together and just ask each other out. At least then Cas wouldn’t get super upset when Dean had one-night-stands, if only because they wouldn’t for one night and Cas would be the one with Dean. They had been in love for the past two years ye neither one of them would get that stick out of their respective asses to just be happy together. Sam just wanted his brother to be happy like he was. When he looked back to the dream he had, it would have been bliss. Him with Gabriel, Dean and Cas together, but the only thing was that they would never get to bond. That was something the younger Winchester was looking forward to, bonding with his archangel sounded like the best thing in the world. He hoped Dean would get that some day.

 

Sam got out of bed for the first time since waking up, a little unsteady on his feet at first, but he managed to regain his balance. 

 

“Whoa, babe, not that I don’t like the view but where do you think you’re going.”

 

“Relax Gabe, I’m just going to take a shower. I feel like I haven’t taken one in a week.”  Sam didn’t notice Gabriel following him until he went to close the door, “And just what do you think you’re doing?” Sam asked with a raised eyebrow.

 

“Taking a shower.” Gabriel answered innocently,  “The lovebirds out there are too busy with their staring contest to even notice us gone, let alone do anything about it, and I want to help you relax. So get in the jacuzzi and let me wash your hair.”

 

Miraculously, when the hunter turned around there was a jacuzzi behind him filled with how water. Not only that, the entire bathroom looked nicer. Instead of a stained linoleum floor it was now clean marble tile. There was granite counters with a fancy sink where there used to be a plastic barely-functioning sink. And the shower/bath combination had been replaced with a twelve jet jacuzzi. Sam turned around to hug Gabriel, but when he turned, elegant fingers went to work on his button-down shirt. After that fell off his shoulders, the archangel took off Sam’s undershirt, then let the hunter work his pants while the archangel started to undress.

 

“Thank you Gabe.”

 

“You say that like it’s never going to happen again.” Gabriel said as he got in the tub, waiting for Sam to get in before starting the jets. The Winchester thought the space would feel cramped, what with his 6’4” frame, but it was surprisingly comfortable, big enough for Sam to even curl up in Gabriel’s lap. As odd of a sight it was, it was their favorite sleeping position. And it felt the same in the water. Gabriel eventually conjured up a cup or something to help Sam get his hair wet, then used strawberry -of course it was strawberry- flavoured shampoo to wash Sam’s hair. The human had to admit that it felt nice to have someone wash your hair. When Gabriel was done with both shampoo and conditioner, he just held Sam for another 5 minutes before getting out and drying them both off and changing them into their nightwear; flannel pants and a sweatshirt for Sam and just one of Sam’s sweatshirts for Gabriel, no pants if only because it was big enough to be a dress. The archangel popped them back into their shared bed, Sam immediately falling into a restful sleep. 

 

**\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

[Gabriel’s POV] 

 

Gabriel sighed contentedly when Sam fell asleep in his arms again. His grace positively buzzing as Sam’s dreams were filled with memories of him and Dean when they were little kids running around Bobby’s salvage yard. 

  
Gabriel was about to go to sleep, when he looked across the room to find his little brother asleep with a sleeping Dean in his arms. He smiled at them, happy about his brother finally finding the courage to tell Dean how he felt. He looked at them for another minute, looked back at his own Winchester, kissed Sam’s head, then fell asleep with happy thoughts.


	7. Cas Gets His Human

[Dean’s POV]

 

Dean had been afraid from the moment the djinn took Sam to the time he had gotten back. When he saw Sam looking into Gabriel’s eyes with humor, all he could do to stop himself from tackling Sam was hug him. Needing reassurance that his baby brother wasn’t in a coma like he was all those years ago. 

 

When Cas showed up, Dean was glad to hear he came to check up on Sam, instead of the angel avoiding Sam like he did when Castiel saw the younger Winchester as “the boy with the demon blood”. When the seraph turn his blue eye back towards Dean though, the hunter was entranced by the colour. Not wanting to look away for even a second- not being able to look away from the most beautiful shade of blue he had ever seen. He was drowning in them, but came back to reality when the bathroom door closed. Dean looked down and had to fight the blush crawling its way up his cheeks.

 

“So, uh, thanks for checking on Sam. Really means alot to me.”

 

“Why wouldn’t I?” Castiel asked with his famous head tilt. “Sam is my friend as well, and I am sure that, if you were to get into any trouble, Gabriel would be more than happy to help. Given that either I cannot make it or it requires the power of an archangel.”

 

“And I’m glad, really. So let’s end this chick flick moment before we start our period huh?” Dean asks with a smirk.

 

Castiel suddenly pulls Dean into a hug. “Uuuhhh, what are you doing there buddy?”

 

“I can see down into your soul, Dean. You are still afraid for Sam. I am trying to comfort you.” The angel pulls away just enough to look Dean in the eyes, “Is it not helping?”

 

The Winchester pulls Castiel into a tighter hug, “No, no it’s working.” It come as a sigh and Dean feel his face flush when his voice cracks.

 

Castiel pulls away again, this time to capture his hunter’s lips in a kiss that leaves them both breathless. “What was that for?” The hunter asks.

 

“I love you, Dean Winchester.”

 

“I….*ahem* I-I….. I’m sorry, I can’t say it. But you have to know, I do too, but, you know, with you. I… I l...l.. _ like  _ you too. Damn Cas I’m really sorry, I can’t say it.”

 

“It is alright, Dean. You will say it when you are ready. Let’s just relax for now, would you like me to stay the night with you? Alike to what Gabriel does for Sam? I’ve finished all heavenly duties that are required of me at this time.”

 

“Sure, sure.” Dean yawns. “Wow, today has really taken a toll on me. I’m beat. But you can’t sleep in a suit and tie, dude. Get something more comfy, here.” The hunter tosses Castiel a pair of flannel sweats.

 

The angel changes with a thought and has his usual clothes were folded on the table. Dean, however, was still taking off his pants. “Uh, Cas, can you turn around maybe? The bathroom is sort of occupied now.” The angel turns. “Alright ready.” Dean says when he's done.

 

When they climb into bed, they end up sleeping with Dean’s head on Castiel’s chest, and they both think it’s perfect. 

 

**\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

[Castiel’s POV] (Cas’s POV on what just happened)

 

When he heard the news, Castiel rushed down as fast as he could to help the situation. He  _ was _ worried about Sam, although he really wanted to see how Dean was holding up. He knew Dean. He knew Dean loved his brother more than anything, more than life itself, he’d proven it when he’d sold his soul. Castiel also knew that Dean practically raised Sam, with their father always leaving them in a motel with a couple hundred dollars for weeks on end. The angel had felt that deep love for his family and need to put bad things down when he pulled his soul from the clutches of Alastair. So when he flew down, he was ready to pull Sam from a coma, not to find him finishing a salad in Gabriel’s happy arms.

 

“I heard Sam wasn’t doing very well, I came as fast as I could. Everything’s okay?” He asked, unsure as to why everything looked that way.

 

“Yeah, yeah. Everything is fine,” Dean answers for Sam. “Sorry I didn’t call you. I figured Gabriel would have more time off and that Sam would be more his area.”

 

“Do not worry, I was just assuring myself that Sam was alright.”

 

“Thanks Cas.” Sam said, not that Castiel heard. The angel was too busy trying to convey his feelings to the man he loved though expression. Dean Winchester. That man was going to be the death of him, has been, multiple times actually. Just as he thought he was getting his message across, Dean, as always, was shaken out of his stupor by a noise, this time to the bathroom door closing. And yet again Dean had that beautiful blush finding its way up Dean’s neck to the very tips of his ears.

 

“So, uh, thanks for checking on Sam. Really means alot to me.”

 

“Why wouldn’t I?” Castiel asked, genuinely confused, he had some unfair opinions of the younger Winchester at first, but nothing was wrong in the present. “Sam is my friend as well, and I am sure that, if you were to get into any trouble, Gabriel would be more than happy to help. Given that either I cannot make it or it requires the power of an archangel.”

 

“And I’m glad, really. So let’s end this chick flick moment before we start our period huh?” Oh, yes, Dean is using humor again in order to duck out of his feelings. His soul was still yearning to see his brother even if he already knew Sam was fine in the bathroom with Gabriel. So he did the only thing he knew would comfort Dean, he hugged the guy.

 

“Uuuhhh, what are you doing there buddy?”

 

“I can see down into your soul, you are still afraid for Sam. I am trying to comfort you.” The angel wanted to gauge Dean’s reaction. “Is it not helping?”

  
  


The seraph smiles when the hunter pulls him into a tighter hug. “No, no it’s working.” It come as a sigh and Castiel could feel Dean’s face flush when his voice cracked.

 

Castiel then makes a daring move; he kisses Dean Winchester. Hard. He smashes their lips together for so long Dean has to pull away just to breath. “What was that for?” And he doesn’t sound like he’s judging or disgusted, just a simple question of curiosity. 

 

“I love you, Dean Winchester.”

 

“I….*ahem* I-I….. I’m sorry, I can’t say it. But you have to know, I do too, but, you know, with you. I… I l...l.. _ like  _ you too. Damn Cas I’m really sorry, I can’t say it.”

 

Castiel knows Dean loves him, but has been betrayed too many times to just say it freely, and he accepts that.

 

“It is alright, Dean. You will say it when you are ready. Let’s just relax for now, would you like me to stay the night with you? Alike to what Gabriel does for Sam? I’ve finished all heavenly duties that are required of me at this time.” 

 

“Sure, sure.” Dean yawns. “Wow, today has really taken a toll on me. I’m beat. But you can’t sleep in a suit and tie, dude. Get something more comfy, here.” The hunter tosses Castiel a pair of flannel sweats.

 

When Dean asks him to turn, he does. Obviously he’s not ready to jump into this. After all, it is Dean’s first time with a guy, and Castiel’s first time with anybody.

  
When they climb into bed, Castiel pulls Dean onto his shoulder, and holds him like he will disappear if he doesn’t. The angel has been dreaming of this since he pulled Dean out of hell, and he’s finally got it, the human of his dreams. He’s already asleep by the time Gabriel and Sam pop into their bed, the latter almost falling asleep in the former’s arms. Nobody has any nightmares that night.


	8. Not-So-Fun Times

[Sam’s POV]

  


Sam wakes up comfortable, relaxed, and safe for what should be the first time in years, but has become a regular thing recently. More specifically; since Gabriel started sleeping with him, actual sleeping with pants of course. He looks around and sees that Dean is still sleeping, and that Castiel is in bed with him, sleeping. Sam smiles to himself, happy that they both finally dislodged the sticks that were up their asses and finally  _ talked.  _ Talked about their feelings toward one another… or one of them just decided: “Fuck it, I can’t live like this anymore.” On second thought, it was probably the second one. Neither one of them could have a conversation about how they felt if they were at smite-point (because gunpoint happens way too often).

  


Dean wakes up about ten minutes later, smiling at his angel as he cuddles further into Castiel and the warm shelter of blankets At least until Sam makes it know that he has seen the entire ordeal by saying, “You finally got that stick out of your ass huh?”

  


Dean jumps up with a blush, detangling himself from the blankets and Castiel, whom also happens to wake up, all the while his entire face reminiscent of a firetruck.

  


“Wha- Did you- Are you- You’re not surprised?” Is what he finally decided on.

  


“Surprised? Yes. But only because one of you finally did it, you two have been obvious since 2011. If it took any longer I’m pretty sure I would’ve just smashed your faces together and got another room.”

  


“Dean, is something wrong?” Cas finally asks from the bed.

  


“Nah, just my brother being a dick. You can go back to sleep.”

  


“I’ll stay up. I enjoy sleeping with you, not very much sleeping in general.” And that is when Castiel shamelessly walks up to Dean to peck him on the cheek. Dean seems to forget Sam’s there at that point, so he turns to smash his and his boyfriend’s faces together. So Sam does the logical thing; throws a pillow at them.

  


“Not while I’m here.”

  


“Fine.”

  


“Hey, babe?” Gabriel calls from the bed and waits for Sam to look at him. “Angel business, I’ll see you tonight.” 

  


**______________________**

  


‘Hey, Sammykins, I’m so sorry to do this to you, but I won’t be able to make it back until the middle of the night.’ Is the call that comes in when Sam’s about to go to sleep.

  


Sam does have a little trouble sleeping that night, but no nightmares.

  


**\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

[Gabriel’s POV]

  


Gabriel really wanted to go back, but angels were fighting and he had to deal with that on top of paperwork. He felt like a highschool teacher. But all was well when he got back to the Winchester’s. When he snuggled in next to Sam, he noticed the hunter relax further when he put his wings around his hunter. The humans couldn’t see them, but apparently Sam could feel them. Gabriel went still as the hunter stirred, they ended up chest to chest. It was as close as they could get without the bond and his grace was screaming at him to hurry up and complete the act. And Gabriel wanted to, he wanted to bond with Sam so much. But he couldn’t, yet. Couldn’t until the three weeks were over and Sam’s soul and Gabriel’s grace were positively used to and yearning for constant contact. If they did any sooner then it could be entirely overwhelming and put Sam in the crazy house for the three weeks that should have been spent just being together beforehand. 

  


He just ended up reaching out with his grace, cradling the bright soul like one might a baby; cautiously and with a gentle touch. Sam snuggles impossibly closer, so that every inch of the hunter is touching the angel. Gabriel’s only done this a few times, and only when they’re alone. He knows it makes Sam feel vulnerable, having your soul literally in someone else’s hands. But he also knows that Sam’s soul needs this, needs to feel someone holding him and caring about him without familial requirements or plans to hurt him in the future. He is happy to play his part in the process, because much like how his human’s soul yearns for it, his grace does too. Here is when he actually takes his wings out where his hunter will be able to see. It is a great sign of trust for an angel to do this, especially in front of humans. But he does trust his Sammy, he trusts Dean a bit less but knows that he won’t do anything to hurt Sam. And as long as the older Winchester knows that his brother is happy, he won't mess with their relationship.

  


This proves to be a mistake when he goes to sleep, though, because he didn’t count on there being another angel in the room, disguising herself to be undetectable. She apparently thought he was doing something wrong about how he was going about managing heaven while their Dad’s not there, because she stabs Gabriel straight through the right wing, white hot pain shoots through him and makes him scream in his true voice, breaking any and all glass within 20 miles. The hunters in the room jump out of bed, before covering their ears from the assault of his scream. Castiel however, he pops right behind her and stabs her through the heart with his own blade. He then cuts off Gabriel’s voice with a thought, going to comfort his older brother, but Sam has already gotten there.

  


By now Gabriel turns into a sobbing mess, making soundless hiccups as he heaves. And Sam is just there, holding him and making it clear that nobody will judge him, but the wound needs to be tended to, so as soon as Gabriel is in control of his true voice, Cas gives him his voice back.

  


**\---------------------------------------------------**

[3rd Person POV (kind of)]

  


“Sammy,” Gabriel whispers, “Sammy it hurts. It hurts really bad. I can’t even move my right wing.” He continues to babble on about nonsensical things whilst Dean and Cas are planning how to go about this.

  


“Gabriel, I need to get the blade out, you need to be able to heal. Once the blade is out then I can help with the pain. Okay?” 

  


Gabriel only shuts his eyes tight and nods jerkily. Then Castiel puts one hands on the injured wing and the other on the blade and pulls. Gabriel screams again, but remains in control. Gabriel pretty much passes out right then, and Dean and Castiel work on bandaging the wing, luckily Castiel can poof up medical supplies so that’s handy. All the while Sam’s holding onto Gabriel and petting his hair and sending reassurances that he knows the angel won’t hear. 

  


Castiel does send a pulse of grace through Gabriel to accommodate the pain. It takes about an hour, then Gabriel is awake again but still has tears in his eyes. He tells them of a place they can lie low until he heals, and Castiel has to take them all there, Gabriel not being able to move his wing means no flying. But Sam is still here, it will only take a few days for him to heal, if he gets the occasional grace from Cas for the pain.

  


**_______________________**

  


A couple days go by and Sam is never not at Gabriel’s side. Dean brings him food and there is a bathroom right connected to the room they’re in. Gabriel usually just talks to Sam about pranks he’s pulled, or life from ancient civilizations. But sometimes they have moments like they have now, when they are watching something on the TV and cuddled up super close and reminiscing and preserving their time together. Finally Sam asks the question Gabriel knows has been on the Winchester’s mind since he got stabbed.

  


“Hey…. I hate to ask this, I do, but how did you survive? It was an angel blade, shouldn’t you be more, you know, dead?”

  


“Nah, angel blades can’t kill me. Only an archangel sword, but it hurts like hell. Think of it like getting shot in the leg, won’t kill you, but hurts like hell and you need a little time in recovery.”

  


“Well, why did she go for the wings then? Better yet, why did you have them out?” Sam says while running his fingers through the wings, like Gabriel would with his hair.

  


“I needed to get used to having them out around you, for the bond. So I thought, ‘Hey, I trust the Winchesters, why not now?’ and didn’t count on there being another angel. Well, another angel besides Castiel. And apparently she didn’t like me or didn’t like how I was doing things… so she stabbed me. And don’t you dare tell Dean that I trust him.” Gabriel said while his left wing ruffled and his right just weakly moved.

  
“Hey, as soon as you get healed up, we are getting back out there. I still love you, and I think Dean is happy here. He’s getting to take a vacation for a few days where he gets to hang with Cas. I don’t think he’s complaining, in fact, I think he’s getting some. I’m happy there are a few doors between us and them. I really don’t want to hear it.” Sam finishes with a smile. Gabriel’s insecurities melt away with that smile, he snuggles into Sam. Those hands feel so nice in his wings, he just drift off to sleep while watching Disney’s “Hercules”.


	9. Panic

[Sam’s POV]

 

They’re back on the road after another day and a half in bed. As much as Sam enjoyed all the cuddling and time alone with Gabriel, he was dying for some action. Fortunately, for them at least, there was a hunt they could drive to. Unfortunately, it turned out to be something they had never seen. It was eating entire human  _ and _ could look like anyone, plus they were immune to anything they had heard of; silver, holy anything, and any chant they could find. They called Bobby, but even he didn’t know what they were up against, they all met up at the oldest hunter’s house, a captured… thing in tow, and decided to trap it in the basement to test things on them.

 

They weren’t very worried about themselves… until Gabriel and Cas got back from their angel business. Gabriel appeared in front of Sam, as usual, but as soon as he saw the thing in the room he popped them upstairs without so much as a snap. 

 

“Gabriel, what’s up? What is that thing?” The tallest hunter asked in a very concerned voice.

 

The archangel has already cut his hand and started to draw symbols on the available wall space before he answers, “Well, for starters, more of them are coming, so we ought to get some wards up. Second, those things are leviathans. You do not want to be in a fight with those things, I would know. Vulnerable to nearly nothing and almost never not eating. Top of the menu? Humans. Ancient enochian will keep them from getting in, but they will be trying. Especially once they see angels covering your asses.”

 

“Woah, slow down there shorty.” Dean said, earning an eyeroll from the archangel. “We’ve got the fucking leviathans in our basement? How the hell did that escape our notice?”

 

“I would assume it was right before I joined the team and someone who has practice in not wanting to be found. Before you even ask Dean-o, no it wasn’t me. I’m thinking it was someone who is a bit crazy, a bit power-hungry, and off the grid.”

 

“Crowley.” Castiel said before anybody else could. 

 

“Dammit.  Fine, set up the devil’s trap. We’ll have to summon the son of a bitch.” 

 

“Why? It won’t do us any good, from my experience you can only trap them with this enochian until you can get them back in purgatory. And last time it took four archangels to do that. I doubt Crowley has the power to help, if he’s even still alive. I don’t need you two getting killed just because you jump in there without a plan. We do need a plan and if I have to then I will keep you here but do not think that I will let you, any one of you, get killed by one of these things.”

 

“And just why is this so important to you now? We are always in danger, always have been. Why should this be any different?” Dean asked, very close to shouting.

 

Gabriel growled and spoke in a dangerously calm voice, “Because what do you think happens to the souls of the humans they eat? No heaven, not even hell. Their souls are destroyed along with their body. Nobody, demon nor angel, will be able to find or see you ever again. And I care about Sam too much to never see him again. Same goes to Cas about you. I am not certain if the same happens to angels, as it has not happened before. But I will NOT allow any of us to find out. Do you understand now why this is so important?” The archangel’s voice steadily became louder with this speech, his boyfriend actually having to hold him in order for him to not grab Dean’s collar and push him against the wall.

 

Sam couldn’t believe what he had heard. The thing downstairs could eat human souls and possibly angelic grace. Just their luck. He had felt himself physically pale at the news. He hadn’t considered where the souls went. He just thought they moved on to heaven or hell like what happens when you usually die. But seizing to exist….he felt paralyzed. That had always been his biggest fear. Just...stopping consciousness and living in a world of- No, not even living. Just not doing anything. And nobody can ever get you back. He’d never see Dean again, or Bobby, or Cas or….. or Gabriel. From what Sam could tell of his surroundings,  he was having a panic attack. It wasn’t the first time, but had only happened when they were children. He could see the dark edged around his vision, and could faintly hear people worrying and fussing about him. But he knew one thing, he couldn’t lose these people. These people are his family, bloodline or not. The easy apple-pie life with a white picket fence and 2.5 kids was what he thought he wanted when he left for Stanford, now it could go fuck right off. How could he ever think he wanted that when he already has all he could ask for. Monsters will never leave them alone and they take care of them. There has to be a way to kill the beast downstairs, there’s a way to kill everything… maybe except Death. Point being, they were okay. Gabriel had fought these things before, so they could be defeated. They were safe. Wait… when had the darkness enclosed his vision? Why wasn’t he standing anymore? Sam had no idea what happened. Were they even still at Bobby’s? How long had it been? Was he alive? Was Dean alive? Gabriel? Cas? Bobby? He felt a cool, familiar hand start to run through his hair. At least Gabriel was there. He blinked open his eyes and found he was still at Bobby’s. It was dark out, but it had only been 4 o’clock when he’d last checked. He looked up and saw Gabriel staring at him with a worried expression.

 

“What… what happened? You were telling us that we caught a leviathan and I… I think I passed out. After you…. you said.”

 

“After I said that the leviathan could consume a human soul. I think that was all you heard, because that was when you had a panic attack and hyperventilated. You gave us quite the scare, everybody else is upstairs sleeping. Even Bobby said finally when Dean and Cassie walked into the same room. After he called them ‘idjits’ of course.” Gabriel said with a chuckle. His laugh stopped when Sam’s eyes went wide and fearful again. “Baby, talk to me. You know you can tell me anything. What’s wrong? Hey, stay with me now.”  The archangel asked while softly patting Sam’s face to keep him awake.

 

“You… you said that they consume souls. No heaven. No hell. Not even purgatory. Just stopping consciousness. That….. that is my biggest fear. I can go against vamps, demons, werewolves, you name it. But at least when I fight those, if I die then I know that there’s something after. With this thing, there’s nothing after. And that has been the worst thing imaginable to me since forever.” Sam sits up and leans into Gabriel’s side. He feels safe like that, with Gabriel’s arm around him, having an archangel literally on his side. He feels the most comfortable than he has felt in years. He feels more comfortable than he has felt since he and Dean would comfort each other in the backseat of the impala, after their mother died and John took up alcohol as compensation.

 

He was drifting off, but as he was on the last strings of conscious he heard Gabriel whisper, “Don’t worry Sammy, you’re coming to heaven, and not anytime soon.” Then he sang ‘Hey Jude’ as a lullaby, like his mom used to. He snuggled into his celestial boyfriend, and let go of the thread while listening to the beautiful voice singing to him.

 

_ “ _ _ Hey Jude, don't make it bad _

_ Take a sad song and make it better…” _


	10. I Can't Think Of A Title Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Fanworks Day. I just wanted to remind you that I am always open to constructive criticism, or if you just want to say "hey" in the comments that's fine too. I'm glad that y'all are enjoying the story enough to read to this part/come back this many times. I'll shut up now, read......

[Dean’s POV]

 

It had been a fairly normal conversation, but Dean knew exactly why his brother had panicked. It wasn’t as if this hadn’t happened before. Sam hadn’t had a full-on panic attack since he was nineteen and Dean had come back from a hunt with a long shallow gash going down his chest. John only calmed his son down when Dean was bandaged with a bad headache. He’d never passed out before though, so it came as a surprise when he did.

 

“Why should this be any different?” Was the question that started the chain reaction. After he got his answer, Dean was just standing there, gaping, when he remembered something Sam had told them when the latter was just nine years old.

 

**________________________________**

(Dean-13 Sam-9)

 

“Dean?”

 

“Yeah Sammy?”

 

“Are you afraid of anything?”

 

“No, of course not Sam. Your big bro ain’t scared of nothing. You’ll always be safe with me around.”

 

“Really, nothing?”

 

“Nothing, Sammy. Why? What’s got you so down in the dumps?”

 

“Dean, everybody’s afraid of something, what’s your biggest fear?”

 

Dean sighs, “Well, I guess my biggest fear would be…. I think my biggest fear would be for all three of us to go on a hunt, and me be the only survivor. I can’t imagine how stupid a foster home would be, no protections and no weapons. Why do you ask anyway?”

 

“I was just wondering, because mine isn’t like that. Dean, someday we are going to die, I think we’ve all made peace with that, but what if…. what if when we die, it’s just nothing. That’s my biggest fear, that there’s no heaven, no hell, no valhalla or helheim, nothing Greek, Roman, Chinese, Indian, Confucian, Buddhist, or any other religious afterlife, what if there’s just nothing. What if after we die, nothing happens to us. Sure if you’re passionate enough you could become a spirit, but what if the afterlife is some big joke made up by hopefuls? That’s what I’m afraid of.”

 

“Well Sammy, we will see when we get there.” Dean and Sam watched movies all night after that, Sam even asked to share a bed with Dean that night, soaking in all the comfort a nine year old could.

 

**_________________________________**

(Regular Ages)

 

Dean looked over to Sam, realizing for the first time that someone was breathing really fast, and that is was his baby brother. He carefully walked over to him, “Sammy? Are you with us?” Dean asked.

 

“Is it a panic attack? I haven’t seen him have one of those since he was, what, eleven years old?” Bobby chimed in.

 

“Yeah, but last one was at nineteen, about a year before Stanford. Just, Gabriel get him on the couch.”

 

After the archangel has his human laying down longways on the now lavish looking couch, head in the angels’ lap, Gabriel asked, “So why this one? He started freaking out as soon as I explained what the leviathans do.”

 

“Okay, when I was thirteen, he was nine, he asked what my biggest fear was. I gave him the typical ‘your big brother isn’t afraid of anything’ speech, after a bit more chit chat, he told me that his was not to die, but to die and have nothing come after it. To just...stop. Never doing anything ever again in any plane of existence scared him to.. well, not death, but you get my point. Apparently it still is his biggest fear. He should be good as long as he doesn’t have to face the leviathan downstairs. And nobody tell him I told you this okay? If he wants you to know he will tell you himself.”

 

“Uh, Dean?” Gabriel suddenly piped up.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Is it normal for him to pass out? Because he just did and I want to make sure that this is normal.”

 

“Wait what? He just fainted? No, that’s never happened before. Just stay with him, he should be fine. People faint all the time after panic attacks right?”

 

“Yeah, they do.” Bobby added calmly, “Why don’t you and I fire up the barbeque and grill some burgers, I’ve got ground beef in the fridge and you could make a killer burger with only salt and pepper as spices.”

 

The two of them went out back after Castiel announced he would inform heaven of Gabriel’s temporary absence. 

 

**\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

[Gabriel’s POV]

 

Sam had scared him when he slumped against the archangel, not that he minded the weight. The time spent between Sam losing consciousness and Dean getting back from making burgers was spent running his fingers through his hunter’s hair and singing softly in enochian. He still doesn’t leave Sam’s side when everybody is done eating, nor when Dean makes a run into town to grab more beer, not when Castiel gets back and not when everybody turns in. When Sam starts to stir, however, he looks down at him and thinks about how he is going to explain everything.

 

“What… what happened? You were telling us that we caught a leviathan and I… I think I passed out. After you…. you said.”

“After I said that the leviathan could consume a human soul. I think that was all you heard, because that was when you had a panic attack and hyperventilated. You gave us quite the scare, everybody else is upstairs sleeping. Even Bobby said finally when Dean and Cassie walked into the same room. After he called them ‘idjits’ of course.” Gabriel said with a chuckle. He stopped as Sam looked like he was about to have another breakdown. “Baby, talk to me. You know you can tell me anything. What’s wrong? Hey, stay with me now.”  The archangel asked while softly patting Sam’s face to keep him awake.

“You… you said that they consume souls. No heaven. No hell. Not even purgatory. Just stopping consciousness. That….. that is my biggest fear. I can go against vamps, demons, werewolves, you name it. But at least when I fight those, if I die then I know that there’s something after. With this thing, there’s nothing after. And that has been the worst thing imaginable to me since forever.” Sam sits up and leans into Gabriel’s side. Gabriel brings an arm around Sam to pull and keep him close.

 

Gabriel whispers, “Don’t worry Sammy, you’re coming to heaven, and not anytime soon.” Gabriel then sings what he knows Mary used to sing to him when she would tuck him as a baby, Sam had dreamt of it many times.

 

_ “Hey Jude, don’t make it bad _

  
_ Take a sad song make it better…” _


	11. Just A Normal Hunt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This ones a bit shorter than usual, but I should have next one out later today. If not today, then tomarrow

[Sam’s POV]

 

He was a bit embarrassed after his panic attack, but luckily Dean and Bobby knew that making fun of him for this would cause him to think about it more and break down again. He wasn’t bothered about it other than the concerned glance from Bobby and Dean asking ‘Are you alright now?’ and that was that. Gabriel had to leave that morning, just sending the leviathan back to purgatory and saying ‘Angel business see you at sleepytime.’ and disappearing with a snap, Castiel departing in like fashion. They found a case nearby and suspected a vengeful spirit. They loaded up the impala and set one the half hour long journey it took to get to Valley Springs, they didn’t even need to get a motel.

 

Sam and Dean, dressed as FBI, were asking the local police what exactly they had found.

 

“I’m sorry, but why is this in the interest of the FBI?” The officer- Officer Mikkey - asked.

 

“Well, there have been a string of deaths alike to this one and we want to put them to a stop.” Dean answered, the practiced lie easily rolling off his tongue.

 

“Anyway, there are five suicides,” Officer Mikkey said, handing them the official case file. “There doesn’t seem like there’s anything connecting them after the fact, same general vicinity. But when we went to check it out nobody hung around there, it was barren.”

 

“Oh, well, we’ll look into it. See if this is the same guys’ MO.” Sam said as they left the officer stuttering about them not supposed to be taking the file.

 

**___________________________________**

 

They had found out who was killing, roughly who they were targeting (you could never be certain), and knew where to salt and burn them. There was a guy who had died brutally in the seventies, killed by a creepy girl from the local strip club, now he was taking out all the girls he came across who worked as prostitutes. The people that he was going after hadn’t made the best life choices, but they weren’t bad people, so he had to be put to a stop. He had been buried in a plot of land that had a building built on top of it from the nineties, so that was just perfect. When they got there, they were lucky there was a basement leading to where they assumed the spirit was buried. 

 

Sure enough, there was a small place on the side of the room with a few dead flowers. Shovels ready to dig, they started on their way to salting and burning .The spirit didn’t even show up until they were halfway through, the ghost looking like an average 70’s  joe….but really,  _  really _ mad, and he was also really powerful. Sam had read that he was trying to clean up his neighborhood when he was alive and get rid of people like drug dealers and prostitutes and gang members, having lived in the bad part of town, before he died. Getting killed by something you hate must be a big insult, therefore having enough hate to then take out those people.

 

The ghost threw Dean from where he was digging the grave to the entirely other side of the room, then threw Sam in the same direction. Dean had been lucky, by their standards at least, and hit a bookshelf. At the same time Dean was getting up, Sam flew past him, through the open door, and hit the stairs leading out of the basement. He was flying front-first, so he knew he had at least bruised some ribs. But it hurt more than it should’ve. It shot searing pain through his right leg when he tried to get up, so eventually Sam gave up the struggle and just watched Dean fight the thing from where he was in burning pain. 

 

Dean got over when he finished up, looking a little worse for wear. “Why didn’t you help me there princess?” His brother asked, annoyed.

 

“I kinda can’t move, and you had that. Now help me up.” Sam responded, holding his arm out for Dean to grab, momentarily forgetting about his bruised/broken ribs. He remembered when another dose of that white-hot pain shot through his entire torso, making him scream and cough up blood. “Great, broken ribs, broken leg, and I think I punctured a lung just now. Get gabe down here would you?” Sam wheezed.

 

“GABRIEL! Sam needs you! He’s hurt, bad.” Dean said, face etched with concern as he tried to make his baby brother as comfortable as possible until said brother’s boyfriend got there. Which took an entire four and a half minutes as opposed to his usual immediate arrival time. “What took so long?” The older Winchester asked, moving out of the way for the angel.

 

“Angel fight, didn’t want to bring them here and risk y’all further. Sam? You with me? Come on let’s heal you up.” Sam didn’t even notice the world fading until the archangel said something, but felt the warmth float through his stomach as he was healed.

 

“G’briel? G’b ‘m tir’d. C’n I jus’ sl’p?” Sam yawns. “C’n I jus’ sl’p right ’ere?”

  
“Sure sweetie,” Gabriel says as he picks his human boyfriend and the scene changes around the three of them. Dean flops onto the mattress and rolls over to wait for Castiel. “You can sleep anywhere you want, I’m not going anywhere.” He presses a kiss onto the hunter’s forehead before climbing into bed with him. Sam immediately snuggles up to the celestial being. “Awe, my octo-moose-nerd-sponge is back. Now let’s get some upgrades.” A second later, everything is clean, the bed are comfortable (and that received a grunted ‘thanks’ from Dean), and the TV went from a 300 pound 1989 deadweight, to a nice, new, flat screen with HD. “I love you Samshine.” Gabriel said before humming “You Are My Samshine” quietly to himself.


	12. Houston We Have A Situation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I said it would, this chapter came out pretty quick. I was on a writing spree and just had to proofread before posting. I hope y'all like it and I love to hear back from you guys.

[Gabriel’s POV]

 

They were just a few days away, Sam still was fairly in control of his sanity, and they hadn’t had anything happen to them (severely because these are the Winchesters) since the panic attack, and that is, of course, when things go bat-shit crazy. He had left heaven later than usual, for the second time, and expected his human to be doing just fine like he was last time. Not tossing and turning and almost ripping his hair out in his sleep. He rushed to the haunted figure, trying to get him to wake up. When Sam’s stubborn human brain wouldn’t, he did the most intimate thing he could do before bonding; he brought his wings into the earthly plane, wrapped Sam as tight as he could with one still sore,  _ and _ cradled Sam’s soul, which looked like it was crying and reaching out to Gabriel. Taking comfort in his grace before Sam let himself wake up. 

 

Sam did wake up, with archangel’s help, about five minutes later. he looked around the room wildly before settling on his brother, then Cas, and finally his boyfriend. “Gabriel? Can we, can we go to your place?”

 

The angel just nodded, then flew them back to where it had all began, Sam’s room….sort of. It was the room in the pocket dimension that Sam had gotten the amulet in. They hadn’t been back since Gabriel went and got his wing stabbed, but they were here. They were in this room, after Sam had a nightmare again. The amulet must have not lasted as long as they had hoped it would, but it had done its job for the time being. The archangel just took off his human’s neck and threw it out. 

 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Gabriel asked once Sam looked like he was calm enough to have a conversation.

 

Sam nods, “It started out normally, just some old memory of Dean and I when we were taken out shooting for the first time together, I can still remember the look of pride on Dean’s face when I made my first bullseye, but instead of an admiring look, it was full of pain and hatred. Dean shifted into Lucifer, I was back to being an adult, but tied up and strapped down. I was waiting for the first blow, for a knife or hot iron poker or anything that could hurt me. But it… it never came. I had closed my eyes, when I opened them, you were there. I…. I know it was Lucifer but you were screaming at me, saying…. saying it was all my fault that you were there.” At this point Sam starts to cry into Gabriel’s shoulder. “Dream-you was calling me all sorts of things, saying that you never really loved me, that how could something so holy love something so damaged, calling mean abomination, the boy with the demon blood. Asking me why I killed my mother, Jess, you, everybody else I could’ve saved. Then Lucifer came and…. and he never attacked me, he went for you. He cut you up so bad that you would’ve died if you’d been human. Then brought an angel blade down on you, the kind that can actually kill you. You died Gabe! I couldn’t save you again! And then came Dean and Cas and I didn’t think it would ever stop, thankfully Lucifer didn’t go after Bobby too. Everybody taunted me.” Sam hugged Gabriel tighter. “Dean was yelling at me, saying that I’ve been nothing but a failure, saying that this whole mess never would’ve started if I’d just listened to dad and never walked away from a breathing enemy. Cas said that he was just here for Dean, that he wouldn’t stay if not for him. You woke me up before I could see him die, but I know he did. And the worst part is; Dean was right. If I’d just killed Jake, then Dean wouldn’t have made a deal or gone to hell. I never would’ve gotten hooked on demon blood or opened Lucifer’s cage, Cas wouldn’t have died at all, neither would you, we would just be a couple of normal hunters.”

 

“Sam, stop.” Gabriel put just enough of his true voice in there to make Sam break out of his stupor. “Sam, you are the single most amazing human I have ever found on my three thousand years on this Earth. If you would have followed your father’s orders without argument, then some other unlucky sap would be Lucifer’s vessel. But you would never be able to save lives, never learn how to protect yourself until it was too late and you had to shoot someone you love. You would’ve been born into a different family and not be a descendant of the Winchester’s and Campbell’s, and more importantly, you might not have Dean as a brother, or any siblings at all. But you do, you have Dean, you got trained just like the Winchester’s and Campbell’s have been doing for centuries, I’ve checked in once or twice to find out the progress, and yes your mother did die, and yes so did Jess, and so will Dean and Cas and me someday.”

 

“Are you going somewhere?”

 

“Yes, my point is, none of it is your fault. All of this shit happened, but can you imagine what it would be like to not grow up with Dean? To not have a big brother to look up to, to show all of his pride openly on his face when your dad is taking you to shoot? Can you imagine having to chop Dean’s head off because a vamp got the jump on him and neither of you knew how to defend yourselves? You would probably never even meet Jess, or Ellen, or Jo, Ash, Cas….. me. At least not how you know them. If you would have killed Jake, then yes, none of the bad thing would happen as they did, but neither would the good things. And my brothers would have still tried you to get Lucifer’s vessel, I don’t know how they would let Dean go to hell though. But you would still have all the angel business, but neither Cas nor me would be there to help you chuckleheads through it. And Sam, look at me for this last one.” He waits for Sam to detach enough from the archangel to look him in the eye. “I do love you, Sam Winchester. You are not an abomination, abominations are demons and vampires and Eve, things that were never supposed to exist on earth, like clowns. What the fuck are clowns doing? What child would find them fun? I mean, Dad what were you thinking.” That elicits a small chuckle/giggle from Sam and Gabriel smiles down at him. “That being said, I do love you. I wouldn’t be bonding to you in three days if I didn’t. And you only have two more nights before we do that, you think you can handle that for me?” 

 

“Yeah, probably. I just won’t sleep until you come to lay with me then.”

 

“Okay, now did you want to sleep here or back in the motel room?”

 

“Motel, I need to see Dean and Cas alive. As much as I love it here, you get why I need it right.” 

 

Gabriel kisses Sam on the forehead, “Of course Sammykins.” He was about to snap what Sam spoke up again.

 

“Just, can we take the bed? It smells like home.”

 

“Of course kiddo, anything.” Gabriel raised his hand and snapped.

 

**__________________________**

 

Gabriel got Sam situated and asleep peacefully before mentally doing a dance, squealing, jumping for joy, and running around the house to burn nervous energy in that order. Sam thought his house smelled like home. Or at least the bed, that was enough though. He peaked in at Sam’s dreams, looks like he was back to reliving old childhood memories, good ones anyway. 


	13. The Devil You Know ^_^

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bad news to people to really like this, but it is going to end soon. However, I do have a couple ideas for the next fic, those most likely won't come out as often seeing as I will be working on two at once, something that I normally wouldn't do but I'm really excited for this, however there should still be a new chapter to one of them at least once a week. Any questions, comments, and/or responses can and will be answered in the comments below. And to be clear, I will be starting these after I finish the one I am working on now.

[Dean’s POV]

 

Dean didn’t know why his brother was acting weird again, but one look from Gabriel said he’d explain when Sam wasn’t in the room. It didn’t seem like Sam knew he was really there, glancing over at random intervals, looking slightly dejected; he was looking like he did before he and the annoying little archangel hooked up.

 

Finally, after an hour of driving, Dean turned off the music and looked back at Sam. “Okay, what is it? You’re looking like you were then the devil was getting a free ride in your coconut.”

 

Sam takes a deep breath before answering. “I had a nightmare last night, the amulet wore off.”

 

“What?! Sam why didn’t you tell me? No, nevermind that. Do you want to tell me what happened?”

 

Sam looks away slightly, “I already talked with Gabe.”

 

“That’s not what I asked, I asked if you wanted to tell  _ me _ about it. Sometimes it’s better to have two different opinions on something.”

 

“When did you get your degree?”

 

“I took one psychology class for three days in high school. I read the first half of a chapter for homework that never got turned in before we left. Anyway, what happened in this nightmare?”

 

Sam sighs before answering in a surprisingly calm voice. “It started out like dreams usually do; an old memory of the first time we went shooting, my first bullseye. Then your face twisted into Lucifer’s, I was unable to move, and he started torturing you guys, not me. He killed you, Cas, and Gabe and I couldn’t do anything but watch. I had to watch all of you get cut open and die helplessly.”

 

“And we said some things to you too huh?” It was more of a statement than a question. 

 

“Yeah….Gabe was first, saying he never loved me, how could he love an abomination, I couldn’t do anything right. Asking why I got everybody killed. Then you came in, told me how you were tired of cleaning up my messes, it was my fault that Lucifer got out at all, I picked a demon over you, I’m a failure.” Dean wanted to interject right then and there that none of it was true, but knew Sam had to get it out of his system. “He killed you after that, I was hoping it would be over, he had already killed my boyfriend and my brother, but no, he had to go after my best friend too. Cas turned up and started talking to me like he did when we first met. I know he doesn’t see me like that now and that he would take it all back if he could, but it was a nightmare so he of course said that it was my fault that he fell, or started to at least, it is my fault you were sent to hell. He’s only here for you, that he would’ve left a long time ago if he could take you with him. I didn’t have to see it because Gabriel woke me up but I know that he died too.” 

 

“Sammy, you know that none of that is true right? If this was some game for Gabriel then he wouldn’t be going through with this soul-bond thing. He got his wing stabbed for you, I think if there was anything besides you in it for him then he would’ve left after that. Cas hasn’t thought of you like you were just a vessel since Uriel died. He even told me, when you weren’t there, that if you needed help and Gabriel physically couldn’t come down or he needed Cas in order to get him out then he would help you. He would try to help you even if he wasn’t needed, just because you guys are friends. You even called him your best friend, I think that I held that title before we got together but now you are the proud owner. And I have never thought of you as anything less than my brother. I would do anything for you, you know that right?”

 

“Yeah, Dean. I know. But when I’m in a dream that seems as real as life then it still hurts when even fake-people are screaming things at me. I already had this discussion with Gabriel, so trust me, I know. But it feels so real that you just believe it to be, if only for a few moments. Gabe said he’d try and be back by the time I usually go to sleep for the next few days, at least until we bond. So I’m going to be going to sleep a bit later for the foreseeable future.”

 

“Okay, Sammy. Now let’s get this chick flick over with and get a snack huh?”

 

“Yeah, sure. There’s a diner right off of this exit.”

 

**\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

[Sam’s POV]

 

Sam felt glad to get that off his chest to his brother. It felt nice to be able to share  _ something _ about his emotions without his brother closing off to him. Even offering to listen. It felt good to have family to talk to, especially after not having that for so long in the…. no. He’s not going to think about the cage because that brings up all-too-vivid images to the forefront of his mind.

 

When they walked into the diner, Sam froze. He was there. This hadn’t happened since that night in the warehouse when he almost got killed. Lucifer was standing there, all smiles and welcoming gestures but Sam knew better.

 

“Sam? Sam what’s wrong?” Sam shook out of his trance and pressed a thumb to the still-sore scab on his hand as Dean started to pull him towards a booth. “Are you seeing him again?”

 

Sam just nodded, too focused on getting the devil out of his head to give any other response. When he finally left, the younger hunter noticed there was already food on the table and started to dig into the salad Dean had gotten for him.

 

“You wanna tell Gabriel? He might be able to help. I know that you two get rid of all this in a few days, but still.”

 

“I’ll tell him, but don’t call him down, he’s probably busy.” Just after Sam finished, the two angels appeared next to their respective partners.

 

“Wrong-ammundo Sammich. Now, what was it you wanted to tell me?” Gabriel said through a mouthful of candy bar.

 

“Umm, can we talk about this back at the room? It’s a bit uncomfortable in public.” Sam immediately regretted it when Gabriel’s face fell. Castiel glanced over nervously, like there was something wrong that humans couldn’t see. He could feel it though, his soul being so well acquainted with being close to the archangel, he could sense almost exactly what he had inferred.

 

“Are you about to break up with me?” Gabriel said so seriously and suddenly that even Dean looked up from his burger. But his face revealed his true thoughts, he was hoping so much that what he said wasn’t true, that after all this time that Sam wouldn’t be as cruel as to pull back now.

 

“What?!! No, no, no, not even close to what I’m talking about. This has nothing to do with our relationship whatsoever….well it kinda,  _ almost, _ plays a factor. It is a second cousin to the subject.” Gabriel visibly relaxed at that. He no longer looked like a broken toy, back to smiling and being content to cuddle up to Sam’s side.

 

“Well then, we aren’t ever talking about that again. What’s up?”

 

“Umm, don’t freak out. He’s back.”

 

“Gonna need more details there Sam-a-lam.”

  
“Lucifer is back, in my head. Making me hallucinate him again.” Right then all sound at the table stops, and Lucifer chooses then to get up close and personal and say;  _ “Dun, dun, dun.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From here on out, Lucifer speaking directly to Sam as a hallucination is going to be italicized, single words not in quotation will still be only for emphasis.
> 
> And really sorry for leaving it on a cliffhanger, it was 11:47 on a school night and i needed to get to bed.


	14. I'm Back, Did You Miss Me

[Sam’s POV]

 

Everybody froze. Gabriel was the first one to move when he wrapped an arm around Sam in a feeble attempt to comfort him. But Lucifer was, of course, droning on about how he shouldn’t need it, he was so weak, why should he need comfort when it’s his own brain against it.

 

“Sam.” Fingers were snapping in front of his face, how long had they been doing that? Nevermind, Dean was talking again. “Sam, if it’s too bad do it here but when we get back to the room I want you to make a small cut on your arm, not too bad, just something to remind you of the difference.”

 

“Whoa, first; I’m not going to let Sam start cutting himself. Second, What difference? Is this something I missed in the land of the not-living?” Gabriel asked, arm still tightly wound around his hunter.

 

Dean rolled his eyes. “You I would advise him to do that? Hell no, genius. And what I mean is he needs to be reminded of a difference between the pain of hell and real life pain. It’s the only thing that kept him sane last time. He had some stitches on his hand that offered that reminder, but he will have to make a new one this time, those healed long ago.”

 

“Okay…” 

 

That was all Sam heard from Gabriel, because Satan decided now would be a good time to start rattling on about all of his failures. He  _ was _ the reason for his mother’s death. The boy with the demon blood, abomination, he was a killer, he chose a demon over his own brother. He trusted a demon, got hooked on demon blood, he started the apocalypse. He did finish it, but only after the deaths of Ellen, Jo, Cas, Gabriel…. he killed Gabriel. He never should’ve met Gabriel. He’s only ever been a trainwreck. When had Lucifer stopped talking? 

 

_ “I’m right here Sammy. You’ll never get rid of me. Are you that much of a fuck-up? You aren’t even in control of your own mind. I have you trapped. I wonder how that feels. Being confined to such a space that is supposed to be yours to roam freely.” _

 

“Sam! Hey, remember, he isn’t really there. Dean, I’m going to pop us back our room, Sam isn’t going to be able to handle much more of the ‘real’ world.”

 

Sam barely saw Dean nod his head before the scenery changed around them. They were in their room. Lucifer couldn’t get here. He was at home.

 

“Sammy? What did he say, baby? Or do you want me to just take a peek.” Sam just leaned into the archangel, which was Winchester code for; don’t make me say it. “Okay, give me a couple minutes.”

 

**\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

[Gabriel’s POV]

 

Gabriel couldn’t exactly say he couldn’t believe that his brother would do such a thing, that barrier was passed when he was killed. But the archangel was surprised at the raw emotion connected to the things the devil had brought up. Everything Gabriel and Dean had worked to assure Sam weren’t true, was getting thrown in his face again. And while the archangel could tell the younger Winchester wanted to believe them and ignore the attacks, having something said to you over and over and over in your own mind tends to lead you to believe it. 

 

“Baby, you know that none of that is true right? Dean, Ellen, Jo, Cas, me; we all made a decision to not let my dick of a brother ruin the world. We decided that we would sacrifice ourselves in order for seven billion people to live on. And you couldn’t have been faster, stronger, better, or smarter because it was not your choice. You did all that you could and it was their time to go. You even made that choice a few times. You did everything while wanting what was best, and-” Gabriel was cut off when Sam spoke up for the first time since getting there.

 

“The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”

 

“That saying is very not true, it is our actions that send us to hell. Person A might want the best for Person B but if A goes and kills B’s partner instead of advising the break up then A goes to hell. You two Winchester boys never killed anyone who didn’t deserve it, at least not when you were in control. You boys were raised in blood yet you always chose the least bloody path. If your father were here, he would’ve tried to kill me already-”

 

“We tried to kill you.” Sam whimpers out, burying his head in his knees where they are tucked against his chest.

 

“Well, yes. But you only did when I was hurting people too. In your eyes at the time, I was a monster that was hurting people who didn’t deserve it. In my eyes, I was punishing them for the damage they had done to society.”

 

“God, Gabe I’m so sorry. I never should’ve done that. I’m the one that passed Dean the stake. I killed you.”

 

“No, you didn’t. I did some things to you guys that I’m not very proud of. But we all got passed that. And none of it is your fault. You did everything the best you could. And you know what? The earth is still full of humans. Most of the people got saved. But you loose a few soldiers even in a war that you win. None of it is your fault. But we can’t stay here, this place has no concept of time, the faster we get back to your brother the faster Luci will be gone from your noggin. For good, that is. Are you ready to go back to Deano? You can make that small cut on your hand. Remember what hell-pain is and what real-pain is. Just don’t make it too deep, I don’t want to see you in heaven any time soon.”

 

“I’m okay. Thanks Gabe, you really helped out. We… we can go back to Dean now, just after we left?”

 

“Sure, anytime you want.” Gabriel says, kissing him once on the nose before snapping them to the diner.

 

“Hey guys, we just payed and were just about to leave. I’m guessing you guys have ‘angel business’ to attend to?”

 

“Yuppey-do Dean-oreno.” Gabriel turns back to Sam, “and remember, call me when you’re about to go to sleep, and you,” Gabriel points his attention to the older Winchester. “You need to call me if he is too whacked out to okay? I don’t want any situations where I have to fix a broken moose.” Turning back again to Sam, he pecks a soft kiss on the hunter’s mouth and said, “Don’t forget, call me.”

 

**\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

[Dean’s POV]

 

Dean knew that the devil had come back full force as soon as Sam had froze walking into the diner. He had been holding on to the hope that he was wrong ever since Sam had told him a but his nightmare in the first place. But in the end, Dean knew his brother better than anyone; living or dead. Cas and him had talked about how things were going to be dealt with this time around. They were going to make a cut similar to the one Sam had received when they tried to stop Crowley from opening Purgatory, after he had banished Cas of course. But that cut is what got Sam through hallucinations the first time around.  

 

“So Cas, what do you think will happen this time around? At least now we don’t have to worry about demon blood, and if that would become a problem we have Gabe who could just sit on Sam’s back and not get up until the detox was complete.”

 

Castiel smiles a bit when he makes that last remark. “That is definitely much less of a concern and problem. And this time around we know that it should only last a few days, as their bonding ceremony will be complete this weekend… One moment please.” Castiel flies away and returns a second later with a newspaper. “And it looks like we won’t need to leave town, this one at least. It seems there is some low-level demon activity in the nearby area.”

 

Dean flags down a nearby waitress. “Yes, can we get the check please?”

 

“Of course sweetie, that will be right up.” She winks and walks away.

 

The Angel of the Lord pulls Dean into a searing kiss that reminds the hunter of the protective, righteous fury he fell in love with all those years ago. “Never forget, Dean Winchester, you are  **mine** . And I don’t like to share.” 

 

Dean feels utterly speechless until the waitress returns, holding the check that she wrote her number on the customer copy and then sees the arm around the Winchester’s shoulders, the way Dean is sagging into the other being there, and the look of fierce protection on other said being, and promptly walks off without making another move.

 

A flutter of wings alerted them of the returning couple at their table. Sam was looking better than he had been and Gabriel looked like a mother hen on a farm.

 

“Hey guys, we just payed and were just about to leave. I’m guessing you guys have ‘angel business’ to attend to?”

 

“Yuppey-do Dean-oreno.” Gabriel turns back to Sam, “and remember, call me when you’re about to go to sleep, and you,” Gabriel points his attention to the older Winchester. “You need to call me if he is too whacked out to okay? I don’t want any situations where I have to fix a broken moose.” Turning back again to Sam, he said, “Don’t forget, call me.” And both angels promptly disappeared.

 

**\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

[Sam’s POV]

 

Sam didn’t feel as bad as before, knowing that it would all end in a couple of days. He knew he only had to survive for another two days then he could live happily ever after…. maybe not, but his life would be better without the devil on his shoulder, literally.

 

“Hey Sammy?” He waits for his brother to look up before continuing, “Tell me when you need space or someone to watch movies with or anything okay? I don’t want the dick with wings to do anything to you. Remember to press your finger into the cut when it gets too bad, and make sure it’s really me before you go anywhere. He can impersonate anyone.”

 

“Yeah, of course Dean. Thanks. I really don't know how it will be this time. I mean, we have Gabe this time and way to stop it but that just means that  **he** will be worse than before. That he will give me torture scenarios not just in dreams. He knows that he is screwed six ways to Sunday, that there is no way that he is going to succeed in his plan to… well we don’t know what exactly he wants now. Maybe to make me so crazy that I can’t tell dream from reality.

 

_ “Oohh, now that’s a good idea Sammy. Or is it Sammykins these days? You really have to catch me up on the new trends.” _

 

“Shut up.”

 

“What? Oh, not me? Okay that’s cool. let’s head to the room, yeah?” Dean was trying to understand and accept it for what it was, Sam could tell. He wasn’t being over-pissy about it, just trying to help him through. Just he helped Sam through spending days to weeks on end without their dad during their childhood. Sam smiled at the memory, when they didn’t have to worry about the devil or sit there wondering when they were going to die. When the next time they would have to save the world would be. Back when Sam went to school, Dean complained about homework, and they could wake up late on a weekend.

 

_ “And you had to ruin that. You ruined all of that when you left to Stanford. Dean was crushed, you left your family behind. You’re the reason that Dean sold his soul. You could’ve just killed Azazel but you couldn’t shoot your dad. That started the whole chain of events. You getting captured and ultimately stabbed. Dean selling his soul, breaking the first seal. The demon blood, the last seal, and here I am. Just because you couldn’t shoot Daddy.” _

 

“Shut up. You don’t know anything.”

 

“C’mon Sammy. Let’s ignore that dick and go kill some of his creations huh? Sounds like fun to me.”

 

“Sure, yeah. Head back to the motel first, I have to make a cut and we still need to research.”

 

They went back to the motel and hit the books, which was a little harder than usual for Sam as Lucifer kept yelling at him and doing things that required Sam to spend more time tuning the devil out instead of the book or website in front of him. But he didn’t have anymore breakdowns, so that was a plus. What was their life when not breaking down into a shaking and stuttering mess in the corner because Satan was making him hallucinate considered a plus? What was Sam’s life and when had it gone from happily making his first bullseye to this?

 

_ “Oh Sammy, it was always going to be like this, you were always going to be a failure.” _


	15. Storm Before The Calm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter for this story. I would love to hear responses in the comments and please pm me on Tumbr for prompts. It may be a little while for me to get to those because I do have ideas. My Tumblr is- https://www.tumblr.com/blog/thefir3bird

[Sam’s POV]

Sam had developed a pattern in the two days that had passed, when Gabriel was there, he kept Lucifer under wraps. But he could only come when either it was time for bed or when it got really bad and Dean wasn’t able to bring him to reality with the usual method and needed some angelic assistance. When he and his brother were alone, he pressed on the cut so hard he started to bleed again. His brother was worried, especially that time Lucifer surprised him in the shower and he fell down and ended up curled on the floor until Dean came in. It wasn’t too awkward, it wasn’t as if they hadn’t seen each other naked before, having grown up in the same motel room most of their lives. But that particular scene did get a call to Gabriel, who immediately came down to calm the still shaking hunter on the bed.

However, today was finally the day to end it all… not in that way. Today was the day that Sam could finally be connected to Gabe, mind, body and soul. Tonight should have everything back to how it was before Lucifer decided to make a guest appearance. Gabriel said that they would go home for it, and Sam wouldn’t want it to happen anywhere else. Unfortunately, Lucifer knew that he was about to be banished from Sam’s mind, so he had upped his game. Which was the reason Sam was shaking in the corner. But Sam didn’t know that, he thought he was with Satan, who decided that as a final stand he would let Sam relive the deaths of everybody Sam had ever cared about. To Sam, the cut on his hand was gone, and he was in the Elysian Hotel, seeing Gabriel die before his eyes. But, to make it all the more painful, Sam was the one holding the blade. Sam killed Gabriel. It was the same with every other death, Sam was the one to take the shot, the one to set off the bomb, the one to hold the knife, even the demon that makes the deal then watches as the target gets dragged off to hell. When he felt a sharp pain on his hand, he found himself returning to reality. Dean had come back from his food run and was helping Sam on the bed. Sam was finally back, pressing into his hand like someone would squeeze a stress ball. Dean was just there, not saying anything, but hugging him and giving him the support he needed. Sam slowly leaned into his brother.

“Sammy? Do you think you can eat?”

It had been off and on for the past two days, Sam would wake up wrapped in Gabriel, after having a great sleep, then it would begin. Sometimes he couldn’t find his hand in the real world, so then Dean would have to come and find it for him, or Cas, or anybody that was there at the time. Lucifer would often make time seem slower in the hallucinations to fit more torture in. But time seeming slower meant Sam got more exhausted, which meant he got tired faster, which meant more nightmares. It was a cycle that had been going on for 36 hours and Sam wanted it to stop. And it would. Tonight. Tonight was the night Sam had been waiting three weeks for. He was looking forward to this since he still had the amulet. He was going to get a hunter’s version of a happily ever after.

“Sam?”

“What? Oh, sure. Yeah, pretty sure I can eat. If you bring me out of one later and I run for the bathroom don’t get in my way though.”

“Sure.” Dean smiles as he hands Sam his food. He sits on the couch and turns on the TV, having finished the hunt yesterday. He left enough room for Sam to sit but not too much so he can stay on the bed if he wants. Sam, needing to feel something real and living, follows his brother. He sits next to Dean, knees and shoulders touching, and leans into his brother. The younger hunter sighs in relief when he feel that Dean is still warm; not the cold, lifeless corpse he had been hanging onto for what felt like the last hour. They watched Doctor Sexy MD until it was dinner (Gabriel programmed the TV to play whatever they wanted). Sam was going out this time, if only because it was pretty late and Gabe would be meeting them at the diner of their choosing.

__________________________

The drive there was fairly normal, Dean blasting Metallica and effectively drowning out Lucifer talking in the back seat. The devil disappeared when they got to the diner though. They sat down and had a normal-ish conversation. argueing on which supernatural creature (in general) was worse to deal with.

“No, skinwalkers aren’t half as annoying as witches. You never know what power a witch has until you lose all methods of communication for 12 hours.”

“Yeah but a skinwalker could be anybody. You need to look through a camera or at a mirror in order to identify them. Plus if one turns into me, then you might shoot the wrong one.”

“Okay, plan A for skinwalkers; if you say…. if you say pumpernickel then I’ll know it’s you.”

“What if there is two of them and there’s one of each of us? I’ll use pumpernickel on the fake and they will know the code word.”

“Okay, plan B; say….. say Destiel. It’s Cas’ and my ‘ship name’. I saw it when we were looking up fanfiction. Which should be called fanfucktion with all the sex scenes.”

“Okay, and if the situation happens in reverse then you say Sabriel. Me and Gabe. Some people write.. I think it’s called ‘fluff’? They write it super cutesy and usually those ones aren’t so cringey.”

“I can’t believe some people spend their free time reading and writing that stuff.”

“Well, it might not be so weird if it weren’t about our lives. It probably makes a good story. Like Harry Potter or Percy Jackson. I love the books but I would never want to live that.”

“I guess I can see that. Hehe, what if they made a movie based on the books. Or worse, a TV show.” That gets a laugh out of Sam. A nice, genuine laugh. It feels nice to joke with his brother again. And still no Lucifer in sight.

“Are you boys ready to order?” The waiter asks, looking impatiently at them.

“Uh yeah, I’ll have a double bacon cheeseburger and I think he wants a salad.” Dean suggests for Sam.

“Actually, I want your ‘triple spice burger’, just no special sauce or mayo please.”

“Of course, coming right up.” The waiter leave Dean to stare at Sam like he’s grown a second head.

“What?”

“You haven’t ordered a burger in two years. What’s up? Do you have fever?” Dean jokingly raises a hand to Sam’s forehead.

Sam bats the opposing hand away, “Nah, I just need a little more energy than usual. The whole devil in the head thing is really tiring me out.”

“Bitch.”

“Jerk.”  
  
“FYI, small and mighty is here.”

Sam turns with a hopeful look, then scoots over and pats the seat like a little kid. “I’m coming kiddo, I’m coming. I’m not as young as I used to be.”

“Yeah, instead you’re only three thousand years old. You knees still work fine.” Sam says as he snuggles close to his boyfriend’s side.

“Wow, that bad huh?” Sam nods. “You or him?”

“Me, but it’s not like I had a choice. And Dean got me out of it pretty quick.”

“Well that’s good. And Deano your angel should be here in 3-2- hey Cassie.”

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
[Gabriel’s POV]

It had been a difficult couple of days. They had all made an unspoken agreement; no matter how Sam breaks down, no matter if he is calm or a mess, no matter if he rages out and needs to be alone or needs all the physical contact he can get, whatever he says, anything he does, nothing gets brought up again. He will never be made fun of if he cries, begs, curls in on himself or shakes and stutters and hyperventilates. It would probably happen to all of them had they been going through what Sam is. They will never bring it up again. So he was surprised to walk into the diner and hear the regular ‘bitch-jerk’ conversation.

“And Deano your angel should be here in 3-2- hey Cassie.”

“Hello Gabriel, hello Sam. Hello babe.”

“Whoa whoa whoa,” Gabriel interrupted when Castiel went to kiss Dean. “Did my little brother just say ‘babe’? Tell me I didn’t just make that up.”

Sam spoke up from where he was still glued to the archangel’s side. “Nope, I heard it loud and clear, what has gotten into you Cas? You’re acting like you’re from this century.”

“Was that not appropriate? I’ve heard Gabriel call you ‘babe’ and ‘baby’ and I’ve seen it with other couples. Although I still do not know why you would call your loved one a baby when they are not an infant.”

Dean, probably having dealt with many conversations similar to this, just smiles and chuckles a bit. “‘Babe’ and ‘baby’ are terms of endearment, like how a parent might call their kid sweetie. You’re not calling me a baby, you’re calling me something you consider precious. Because babies are fragile and handled with the utmost care, calling someone baby is like saying that they deserve to have someone to love them.”

“Then I believe it to be appropriate.” And there’s Dean’s blush.

The waiter comes to their table carrying food. “We have a bacon burger and a triple spice burger. Would you two want anything?” He asks, looking at the angels.

“Nah we’ll just steal from them.” Gabriel answers.

“Okay, just flag me over if you need anything.”

They continued eating and making small talk for another half hour before Lucifer decided to show up, Gabriel having let down his defences when he didn’t show up. He immediately launching Sam into a full-fledged panic attack. Everybody noticed, but by the time they got him out he had been in for what he later said felt like years. He couldn’t let go of Gabriel for two hours, and by then they could bond. So the archangel told Dean where he was taking them and disappeared. Sam finally sagged in relief when he noticed where they moved to.

“Sammy, before I start, you are going to need to know something. With the bond there will be an open connection, thoughts, feelings, mental state, physical state. You will be able to see my wings all the time and no wards will keep me from knowing where you are and being able to get there if you get into trouble. It’s all to help keep your mate from harm. Are you okay with that? I just forgot to mention it when I was first explaining it to you.”

“Of course Gabe. Now, I’ve been waiting for this since TVland.”

“Right, just repeat after me; Nexum concensus dabo…”

“Nexum concensus dabo…”

“Tibi Gabrielem Archangelum”

“Tibi Gabrielem Archangelum.”

“Now I say; Nexum consensus dabo tibi Samuel Wintoniensis.”

“Okay what next?”

Gabriel pulls Sam into their first rough kiss. They fell into the bed in a mess of limbs, everything was new and surprising and terrifying and perfect all at once. They both felt it when the bond snapped into place. It was the best thing Gabriel had ever felt, being this close to his human, body and grace. Gabriel and Sam were left just holding on to one another. Never wanting it to end. They could both feel the bond, feel emotions that weren't theirs but were all the same. Gabriel could reach out with his grace to prod at Sam's soul. They could both feel admiration, protectiveness, and a enormous amount of love pouring through the bond.

It was perfect, and it truly was a supernatural happily ever after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to get this posted ASAP. I really hope you firebirds liked it. I’ll be posting another one soon but I am open to requests on my Tumblr as listed at the top.


End file.
